Page 13 of Commit

Through it all, my eyes kept drifting to the small figure standing beside Abbot, her head hung low under the weight of her grief. Unlike the others, her heartache seemed genuine. No matter the circumstances that led the girl into their lives, she loved Eloise, which means my ex must have done something to deserve it.

Now I was expected to pick up the pieces and act like a temporary parent? I didn’t know how to be a dad to my flesh-and-blood sons, so I sure as hell didn’t know how to help her. But when she walked away from Abbot during the wake, I followed her.

I told myself it was a safety thing. I still didn’t know if Eloise had been a target because of her ex-husband or if Starling would be one too. And maybe that was partly the truth, but it wasn’t all of it.

There’s something about this girl that intrigues me. Landon was right when he said she seemed fragile. She reminds me of those delicate figurines you see made from spun glass. She looked like she could shatter at any moment, and right now, I didn’t know if I wanted to push her to see what would happen or stand in front of her to protect her.

I don’t know how long she stood there watching the water, and I don’t know how long I watched her, but I knew I needed more. I needed to hear her speak, even if it was just to shatter this weird spell I was under.

What I didn’t mean to do was scare the girl half to death.

That was the first time I got a proper up-close-and-personal look at her face, and fuck me, what a face it was. Aside from the pale skin, she has thick blonde hair, full lips, and eyes that are a startling shade of midnight blue. I ignore the rest of her, reminding myself that she’s only seventeen and there might very well be something going on between her and Abbot.

But then she stops breathing for a second, her fear palpable, and I swear to God, my heart skips a beat. Before I can question my actions, I have her in my lap, and I’m breathing for her, with her.

The light floral scent of her hair draws me in as my hand wraps around her throat. I forget myself for a second and feel my cock begin to harden. Unwilling to scare her any more than I already have, I get her to stand up and will my hard-on to calm the fuck down.

For a man who prides himself on his willpower, mine is shot to shit the second my eyes drop from her face to her body. Her slim frame is poured into a dress that does nothing to hide the fact that she might be young, but she is not a child.

I look away and force myself to walk when she does. Just when I think I have myself under control, she says something reckless—something she should never say to a monster like me.

See, I don’t just hunt my prey and kill it; I like to play with it, too. And something about Starling makes the predator in me react. I leave her to walk back to the hall alone, knowing she needs a moment to get herself together.

She’s not the only one. While she’s probably thinking of all the ways she can make herself fade into the background, I’m thinking of all the ways I can see her, watch her, and observe every nuance. It’s the best way to make me lose interest. What Starling needs is for me to get bored. If I can’t now, then in two weeks, when her age isn’t an issue, she’ll wish she took her chances with CPS.

I stand on the front steps; security having alerted me to the approaching vehicles. I’m surprised Landon followed them here. We said our goodbyes after we sprinkled Eloise’s ashes. I thought that was the end of it. Maybe he wants to scope out where his brother will be living as I only led them around the side of the building to the back yard before.

As the cars park beside mine, I walk down the steps to greet them and scan the second-hand vehicles in need of some work. I might not be able to get Landon to take my money, but I’ll work on Abbot. When I was in high school, I would have killed for a new car. So, I doubt I’ll have to push too hard to convince him to get one.

I wait as they all climb out, Abbot and Starling from one car, Landon from the other. As Landon walks over to his brother, Starling moves to Abbot’s other side, putting distance between herself and Landon.

So, it’s not just me that makes her nervous. Is it men or all people? She seems fine with Abbot, but thinking back to the funeral, I didn’t see her interact with anyone else all day, not even Landon.

What happened, little birdie, to make you so wary of the world? I muse as I watch them.

Landon turns to me. “I have a few of their things in my car.”

“I’ll grab them.”

“Thanks. As much as I’d like to help them settle in, I have a long ass drive home. And if I don’t leave now, I’ll be driving through the night.”

“No problem.”

He pops the trunk and passes me a large box before stacking a second one on top of it. I take the boxes up the steps into the house, leaving the three of them alone for a minute. I’m sure they have things to say they’d rather I not hear. I set the boxes on the floor in the dining room before heading back outside.

Starling stands a little behind Abbot, who’s hugging Landon goodbye. Landon pulls back and offers me a nod.

“I’ll let you know when I get home.”

I offer him a nod in return. I don’t bother with goodbyes or offers for him to visit whenever. That’s not us, and though there has been a change in our circumstances, they were born from tragedy, not evolution. You might be able to grow seeds from fertilizer, but you can’t just throw shit around and expect flowers to grow. Too much damage has been done. What grows from here could just as easily die here. I am a killer, after all.

I stand quietly, my hands in my pockets, as Landon climbs into his car and drives away. Once he’s out of sight, I turn my attention to Starling and Abbot, who are now holding hands. I frown but bite back the question on my lips, knowing it’s not the right time.

“Let me show you where your rooms are.”

“Oh, we can share. We usually do,” Abbot throws out, making me pause.

Alright, maybe it is the right time.