Page 14 of Commit
I turn, and Abbot looks at me, daring me to say something. Starling keeps her head down, avoiding any kind of eye contact.
“That won’t be necessary. I have plenty of room.”
“Oh, I can see that you”—he spits out you as if were venom— “have plenty of room and money. Congratu-fucking-lations. Nothing like leaving your kids to struggle while you live the high life, huh?”
“Abbot,” Starling scolds as I take a step closer to them.
“You hardly fucking struggled. You want to talk shit, fine. Say whatever the fuck you want. I probably deserve it. But guess what, Abbot? It won’t change shit. Nothing I say or do will change the past, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stop you from having a fucked-up future. You want to go to college? Fine, I’ll pay for it. You need a new car? I’ll take you tomorrow to get one. Clothes, phones, computers—you name it, it’s yours. But none of it will make me your dad or bring your mom back. I’m sorry.”
His chest is heaving as if he’s gearing up for a fight, but when Starling lays her head on his shoulder and whispers his name softly, he closes his eyes, and the anger drains from him.
“I’m sorry, too. I just…” He sighs before he opens his eyes. “I thought you were done with me. I’d made peace with that, kinda. No kid likes knowing they weren’t worth sticking around for. But now mom’s gone, and you’re here instead. And I don’t know what the fuck to do with that.”
“I get that. Can’t say I have any clue what I’m doing either.” I take a step closer. I could reach out and grab him if I wanted to, but I don’t. “Know this, though. I didn’t leave because of anything your mother did. We just grew up and grew apart. And I never stayed away because I felt like I was better off without you. I stayed away because you were better off without me. I was barely older than you when I enlisted.”
I blow out a breath and shake my head.“One minute, I was a boy on top of the world, and the next, I was a man carrying the weight of it on his shoulders. I’m not sure I ever really figured out who I was before I became a soldier, but it sure wasn’t the fucked-up man who came back. So I stayed away, got into some sketchy shit that only reinforced my belief that you were better off without me, and before I knew it, the boys I’d left behind became men.”
“We needed you. I needed you.” He juts out his jaw, and I see the little boy he was all those years ago.
“If I had stayed, I would have buried more than just your mother. I know you don’t get it, Abbot, but I left to save you, and I stand by that decision even if it hurts. Because you standing here arguing with me means I made the right call.
“You’re here. You’re alive. Every hateful word you spit at me is said with a breath from your lungs that would be nothing but dust if I had stayed.”
I see a thousand questions swirling behind his eyes, and realizations dawn on him. He might not understand everything, but he’s figured out there’s more to it than just me being a deadbeat dad.
He grits his teeth as my eyes move to Starling.
“You two are together?”
“And that’s your business because…”
I look back at Abbot.
“If you’re planning on fucking your stepsister in my house, it’s my business.”
Starling pulls away from Abbot, who curses at me. She hurries around to the passenger side of the car and climbs inside.
“I asked you a question, Abbot.” I grab his arm and stop him from following her. “Is she your girl?”
“Yeah, she’s my girl.”
“And your mom was okay with that?”
“Jesus Christ, we aren’t related, and we didn’t grow up together. Mom loved Starling and was happy we were together. Happy? You think I can check on Starling now?”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “Let me.”
“She hates confrontation. And strangers freak her out. Just let me deal with her. I think you’ve done enough.”
I release his arm, and he hurries over to the car. He pulls the passenger door open, crouches down, and quietly talks to Starling. I watch, feeling like an intruder. By the time he coaxes her out, I’m two seconds away from pulling her out of the car and into my arms.
Instead, she walks over to me with Abbot’s arm wrapped around her, not mine. I have to resist the urge to rip them off and beat him with them. I fight my irrational anger and bury the arousal this woman stirs inside me. She’s seventeen, and she’s my son’s girlfriend.
She is about as off-limits as someone can be. The fact that it’s the ultimate taboo has my dick as hard as a rock. I turn and head inside, and before things get awkward, I excuse myself to make a phone call.
I head out the back door and walk down to the pond, staring out at the water like it might hold the answer to all my problems. If I were a good man, I’d leave—better yet, set them up in their own place and stay the fuck away.
But I’m far from good, and I fear the only way this is going to end is with either my cock in Starling’s pussy or my gun in her mouth.