Page 135 of Toxic Wishes

He tilted his head studying me, then nods in agreement. Once he was out of sight, I let out the breath I was holding in. The hope, the wish, and the dreams I had, deflated in seconds. I was nothing more than a floating balloon, twirling around, unsure where to land. But one thing I knew for sure was that Colt Killian would not be my final destination.

43

Abigail

“Music replays the past memories, awaken our forgotten worlds and make our minds travel.” ? Michael Bassey Johnson

“You don’t look so good, sugar.” I look up from where I was loading beer bottles from a case and give Gary a weak smile.

“Nothing a box of peanut butter cookies won’t fix,” I tell him. Or Colt walking in here right now, taking me in his arms in front of everyone and telling me he does want this. He does want the world to know about us. Telling me he loves me.

God, I’m so tired. And weary. I couldn’t stand to look at him after I left Blake's room, and I wanted nothing more than to be away from him and out of his life. I’m thinking of staying at my sister's tonight. I don’t even want to go back to his lake house. Maybe I can crash here. I know Sherry keeps a bed in the back for nights she’s too tired to go home.

I pull out my phone and open Instagram, glancing at the new comments. My anger and resolve are still there, but so is the sadness now. I miss him, but I hate myself more. I love and want him, but I can’t be around him. He makes me laugh, and I feel at peace when I’m with him, like I’m home. Like he’s the only thing in my life I understand. But I don’t understand myself anymore. Someone has to fight for me for a change.

“You clocked out before closing the tab before you left last time,” Greg says, pulling cash out of his wallet. “Here’s your tip.” He slides a couple of twenties across the bar, and I close the cooler and laugh under my breath. My eyes felt heavy with fatigue. “Greg, it didn’t even occur to me,” I tell him. “Don’t sweat it. I’m just happy you’re here,” which is the truth. He saves me from conversing with anyone else while I’m working. He doesn't flirt or make crude comments. And he likes the music I play on the jukebox. I leave the money and clear off his empty bottle, popping off the top of another and setting it in front of him.

“Hey, can I have two Buds,” someone calls, holding out money at the bar. I head over, hearing the phone ring and seeing Sherry grab it. Opening the cooler, I pull out the two bud lights.

“Abigail?”

I look over at her, setting the two beers down.

“Who’s calling?”

I keep my eyes on her as I take the guy's money and ring up his drinks. “Jared?” she says. She casts me a look, and I know all the blood must have drained out of my face, and I look as pale as a ghost. And I shake my head. How the hell did Jared find out I worked here?

I forgot he even existed. But I’m sure he is calling about the car. I know it’s not for me. Maybe he found out it’s all in my name now and wants to bitch me out for it. I blocked his number over a month ago, even before Colt and I started having sex. I’m sure he saw the video and put two and two together. I should take it down since I know that’s what Colt wants me to do, but I guess I’m not ready to let go of that moment, that feeling of people thinking Colt was mine.

“Yeah, she’s not here.” Sherry lies. “Sorry, you must have the wrong place or girl you’re looking for. I would try her cell phone.” She hangs up. Probably not waiting for him to say anything else.

Jared calling makes me think of Colt. He called my cell once today but didn’t leave any voice messages and hasn’t texted. Naturally, I reach for my phone in my pocket, checking it for the millionth time tonight.

Sherry approaches me.

“What is going on, honey?”

“Nothing. Just got a lot on my mind.” I slip my phone back into my jeans pocket. The video already had 11 Million views on my Instagram, with thousands of likes, shares, and comments. Some people thought we made a cute couple. Others thought Colt was smoking crack for being with me. Some thought I was a gold-digger. Some people put two and two together and discovered I was related to Naomi. Those were the comments that hurt the most.

He downgraded from Naomi.

What a homewrecker. We love C and N together. What are you thinking, Colt? Better Bolt!Before you end up with child support and an ugly baby.

She’s got a smoking hot body. I would fuck her.

She’s dam lucky! Live the dream girl before he wakes up!

The list of horrible, nasty comments goes on and on in my head, but the one that stood out the most was being called a demon child. I wasn’t sure why or where that came from, but it made no sense.

I looked up the username, and the profile looked fake, so I wasn’t sure if it was someone who created a profile to say these mean things or if it was a legit person. It was a picture of some guy with his dog in the profile. Gary was his name, and he called me a demon child and white trash in another comment right below the first one. Then said, the truth always comes out.

I didn’t think anything of it at first, but as the night went on, I couldn’t help but question it. All the other comments were about Colt and me, or how I looked, but this one was directed strictly at me only.

“You look exhausted” Sherry cocks her head at me. She gently pushes my hair behind my ear as I wipe down the bar. “Have you eaten anything today?”

“I’m fine,” I snap. “Just tired.”

I desperately want to talk to her, but I’m sick of being the pathetic girl who has to walk away from a guy who doesn’t want her because I’m not good enough. “It’s a slow night, hun. Why don’t you go home and come back tomorrow refreshed? I know that video must have set you off.”