Page 136 of Toxic Wishes
“You saw too, huh?” Tears stung the back of my eyes.
“Honey, he’s the quarterback for the Cardinals. It’s hard not to see. He’s a good-looking guy, so even if he weren’t a famous athlete, that video would have gotten people to stop in their tracks. Not only that, it was adorable. You have my vote for Team A and C.” She smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks, Sherri. But it doesn’t appear as it seems. We were just messing around, and Colt wanted me to see-” I trailed off, remembering his words. “Me for me, how he saw me, to make me believe I am pretty.”
“Like hell, it’s not. I think the whole world can see the chemistry between you two. Why do you think so many people are commenting? Open your eyes and see it for yourself, Abigail.”
Sheri knew about me and Colt somewhat, but I didn’t tell her the extent of how close we’ve gotten over the summer.
“You are good enough, Abigail. And fuck that bitch Naomi. From the sound of it, I don’t even like her. We got enough of that straight hair-blonde-Jessica Simpson- want-to-be around here anyway.”
Sherri was trying to cheer me up, but that didn’t make me laugh.
“You stick out, honey. You shine and need to stop letting people dim the light on you. That luster doesn’t look pretty on a girl like you.’
“I just don’t know what to do, Sherri. If you heard Colt earlier, it’s like he was mad that people saw us together.”
“I’m sure he has his reasons, and I'm sure being a single dad, dealing with the pressures of the media and all this crap. It’s not easy on him. But the only way you’ll find out what’s going on in that head of his is by talking to him.”
“That’s the thing, he doesn’t want to talk. Not about us right now. And he’s not the most talkative guy. It’s like he has to be in the right mood.”
“Oh, one of those, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Just wait then. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Maybe he’ll come around.”
“And if he doesn’t?” My stomach drops, waiting for her response. Sheri wasn’t cruel, but she never held back when it came to the truth.
“Then your heart will heal, and it will be even more ready for the next one. Stronger even. That’s the beauty of getting your heart broken. So the next time you fall in love, the guy will have to work harder to pierce through that big heart of yours.” She points to my chest, letting the reality of how she may be right sink in. I was holding on, but maybe the best thing to do was to let go. Maybe the Killian brothers and I were just never meant to be.
“Go home and get some rest,” Sherri says. “That’s an order. I may not be your mom, but I can spot heartbreak when I see it. You need to get some sleep.”
I nod.
“Go grab some food out of the kitchen before you go. I want you to eat something.”
I do as told before clocking out and returning to the lake house. A Michael Jackson song starts playing on a station I’m tuned to. But I turn it off, not in my usual mood, to have the escape I typically crave when my spirits are lifted by music.
It took me a good twenty, aimlessly minutes of driving around town, lost in my head before I committed to going back to Colt’s lakehouse. Even though I didn’t want to see Colt, all my clothes, books, and school stuff were in the apartment, so I needed to get my things before making rash decisions.
I didn’t open the door to the front this time. I went straight to the back. I knew Colt was probably already in bed. But since we’ve been sleeping in his room together, returning to the apartment, alone, felt weird. Since he hadn’t called or texted me all night, I figured he wanted to be left alone, which was totally unlike him. But I wasn’t sure if it was the video Bodie posted or what his dad told him. Maybe even his mom said I wasn’t good enough for an NFL star. I wanted to find time to ask him what was going on with him.
Letting my curiosity get the best of me, I snuck into the main lake house to see what was happening. And to see if Colt has finished cleaning up Blake's room. I quietly opened the backdoor to the kitchen. I could see the TV playing through the window, but it was turned down low, so I assumed no one was watching it. When I walked up to the couch, I heard Cliff snoring before reaching him. I laughed to myself as I slowly walked upstairs. Colt’s room was closed, but Blake’s wasn’t. So I peeked inside. The room was as I left it. I cleaned up most of the papers but left the journal with the CD attached to it. Since no one was around, something told me to take it, so I did. I needed to find out what was on that CD. For all I knew, it could be a finished record.
Once I grabbed what I needed, I padded to Bodie’s room and peeked my head in. He never knew it, but I’ve kissed his cheek every night. I read to him at least three times this week when I didn’t get home late, and enjoyed every second of our time together. It’s become our routine. I brushed a strand of golden brown hair off his face. The moonlight shined on him, revealing his smooth, boyish skin. He was so innocent, and I felt like he was mine the more we got to know each other. And his love for music reminded me so much of Blake. A small part of me wanted to keep him forever, but I knew that was just a selfish fantasy I had to keep to myself.
I took a deep breath before slowly backing away.
This was going to hurt like hell once this summer-pretend-happy family came to an end.
I opened the back door and walked back to the apartment. A chill ran through me the instant I smelled grassy smoke mixed with a musky scent.
“If I knew you were into tricking, we could have made some money, girl. You get more use out of sex than drugs.” Jared says. “Didn’t know you could pull some NFL ass, but then again, you always tried hard in bed, which always made you a good little lay. Better than all those good-looking hoes that sat back and just liked to get fucked.”
“What are you doing here?” I say, ignoring his comments. The only thing I heard loud and clear was the pounding of my heart.
“I need our car back—my car. Do you think you would get away with that shit? Now that you fucked an NFL player?”