Page 75 of Class Studies

“I want to live without fear,” I pulled on my braid. “I don’t want to hurt people, but I don’t want to be hurt either. All I know is what I’ve seen here. I so badly wanted the label of good, but it’s all bullshit.” I let go of my braid and clenched my fist. “Fear, not right and wrong, rules this place. Fear of the Aptitudes, fear of the teachers, fear of other students, fear of the MA.” I met Officer Keres’ gaze. “You fear me, and that feels good because it means I have power, and you can’t hurt me.”

I created a Bead of Will in my palm.

The massive agent behind Officer Keres drew his arm back, ready to throw his potion, but Officer Keres held his hand out.

“I know I need to fix my magic because it’s the right thing to do,” I said softer. I let the bead fall, and it hit the wood boards and dissipated into the air. “But I’m doing it because I fear the consequences. Not because it’s the right thing to do.”

I shoved my fingers across my lips to keep more words from flying out. This man wasn’t my ally. He wanted to hurt me.

My eyes watered as the nasty mix of herbs still clinging to my fingers permeated my taste buds. I pulled my hand away from my face and scowled at it.

Officer Keres’ posture relaxed, and he studied me. “Do you want to talk to Doctor Roy before you continue?”

I shook my head.

“The MA wants you.” Officer Keres cracked his neck. “But, I was also under the impression you wanted to join it. Working with the MA is an honor no one coming out of this program will ever get.” He crossed his arms. “It hadn’t occurred to me you wouldn’t want it.”

The agent behind him placed the potion back on his belt. Officer Keres turned and took a few steps toward the door before facing me again. “How often do you need to transfer?”

“Ah,” I rocked on my feet. “Why?”

Officer Keres frowned. “Good is a real concept, A. Rules exist to help people remember to think of each other. They change as people change and the world evolves.” He pointed at me. “You must do something illegal to survive. As much as I hate you for doing what you did to me, you cleaned up my unit. You’ve not abused your powers once since doing it. I. Am. Not. Your. Enemy.”

I squeezed my braid, still unsure if I could trust him. “Ideally, every other day,” I said softly. “I managed three weeks but leaked into Professor Garnet multiple times.” My gut twisted. “I couldn’t stop my transfer into two people who didn’t agree to, um, participate first.”

Officer Keres nodded. “And both parties walked away amicably?”

I snorted, thinking of Saffron’s rims glowing with magic he refused to let go of, and then Ashe fucking my brains out before gluing himself to my side.

“Yeah,” I said when I realized he still waited. “Yeah, it worked out for all parties.”

Officer Keres nodded. He pulled an old-fashioned metal key out of his pocket and stepped out of the door. “I’ve no idea what your future holds, and I make no promises, but talk to me. The world’s unfair, and the same rules that should apply to everyone never truly do. The sooner you accept this and start trusting the people trying to help you, the better off you’ll be.”

The door shut, slightly shaking the mesh of The Nest. I’d never heard an old-fashioned metal key turn before. It clicked shut with finality. I don’t know how long I stood staring at the door, but eventually, my phone chiming broke me out of my stupor.

My hand still shook with adrenaline, though it calmed a little as an odd lightness entered my heart. I stood up for myself.

I fumbled, pulling the black box out of my pocket. A text from Beryl contained a video, and I pressed play. Beryl lobbed a snowball at Saffron. It nailed him in the head, and Saffron turned, his yellow rims blazing. The video cut off before I could see his revenge.

A stupid grin spread over my face.

Beryl the Boyfriend: I talked Boy Scout into joining me. I know you were worried about him being lonely.

I couldn’t help myself, and I clicked on my chat with Saffron.

A: Boom, headshot.

Greek God: How do you even know that reference?

A: Get a video game system for our tower, and I’ll show you.

Greek God: Our tower?

A: Pending your interview with the gatekeeper.

Greek God: Damn it.

I wrinkled my nose and put down my phone. Officer Keres, Teddy Tederwinkle, Abe, and even the Director wanted something from me. But four men in my life didn’t. Well, they did, but it was something I wanted to give them. I needed them safe.