Page 74 of Class Studies

“Contact Alice or me when you’re ready to come out,” he continued. “Students are usually not allowed in the restricted section unless accompanied by specific staff, but I’m trusting you.”

I took a deep breath and calmed my racing heart. I wasn’t trapped, but, once again, the rules bent because they inconvenienced the man in charge of enforcing them.

He peered at me. “I’ve instructed Alice to bring you dinner, and I’ve excused you from Martial Arts Coterie.”

I snorted. “Aren’t you supposed to be enforcing the laws? There’s no eating in the library, and Director Flemmings put Coterie on my schedule.”

Officer Keres stared at me in disbelief. “Every day, you illegally transfer your magic into one of my finest officers, further corrupting him, and you’re worried about eating in the library?”

I flushed. “It’s not every day.”

Officer Keres squeezed his eyes shut before meeting my gaze. “I’m not your enemy, Aphrodite.” He punched the air at his waist with a loose fist. “I want to see you be successful. Yes, it’s my job to enforce the rules, but it’s also my job to understand the exceptions to them and find a way for all of us to live peacefully. That’s the ultimate goal of the MA.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I need you to figure out more about your magic. Your time in The Nest trumps Director Flemmings’ need to expose you to tricky social situations to toughen your skin.” He took a deep breath. “For someone who disregards people’s fundamental right to free will, I don’t understand why you care if you’re eating in the library.”

I blinked. “I don’t want to take people’s free will, and I like the library.”

“But you don’t like Ashe?” Officer Keres raised an eyebrow.

I rocked back. “Ah, what?”

He gave me a disappointed look. “Every time you transfer into Ashe, he’s breaking the law, and I have to hide it to protect both of you.”

I swayed. “I’ll explode if I don’t transfer.”

Officer Keres leaned forward. “If you join the MA, we can figure this out.”

My breathing sounded loud between us as he waited for my answer.

I begged him to understand with my eyes. “I don’t want to join the MA. I spent my entire life a slave to one man. One person made every decision for me, and I existed for him. I can’t do it again, person or entity, and I won’t.”

Officer Keres leaned back. To my surprise, the tension left his shoulders, and he slowly nodded. “And what do you want to do?”

The sound of someone reshelving their books below us drifted.

I gripped my braid. “I want to be free to use my magic.”

Officer Keres’ face remained impassive. “To do what?”

“To defend myself,” I said immediately, thinking of Alrick.

“But what if you didn’t need to defend yourself? What would you want to do with it then?”

I closed my eyes and steadied myself on the table. The emptiness I felt when I saw how much Saffron looked like his parents, knowing I would never see my own came back to me. The pain in Beryl’s eyes when he talked about his family abandoning him. Professor Garnet being pulled away from his twin and forced to spend days alone with thoughts and magic he didn’t understand. Those three days shaped his adult life.

“I want to help people.” I opened my eyes. “I want to help the mages the world abandoned, like me. But I can’t do any of that if I can’t help myself.”

Officer Keres studied me. “I’m helping you. You realize Metaphysics is your training ground now, correct?”

“My training ground?” I hissed. “You’re forcing me to experiment on my friends. On mages who don’t want my magic before I even know if I can get it out of them.”

Officer Keres clenched his fists. “They’re criminals, and you’re sleeping with most of them. This is not a school; it’s a rehabilitation program. We’re doing what must be done.”

I sucked in a breath and laced my fingers together in front of me. “I’m not sleeping with Ghalen or Tanwyn!” I stomped my foot like a child. “I forced Tanwyn to experience something personal that wasn’t any of our business.” A tear slipped out of my eye, and I scrubbed it away, taking an angry step forward. “Things can’t suddenly be okay because you’ve decided they are! What about doing the right thing? What’s the point of the Aptitudes if our choices don’t change anything? What about these rules holding society together? Is this how you treat those as well?” I shook. “Was my master right?”

I swallowed hard. Damon told me this world was terrible and filled with pain and resentment. Until this moment, I hadn’t realized these rules, this notion of good the Institute tried to instill in us, was a concept I clung to because I didn’t want Damon to be right.

The massive agent behind Officer Keres pulled out a potion, but Officer Keres didn’t notice. He took a hesitant step toward me. “Do you want to follow those rules?”