Page 8 of Fixation of the Mind
Rion raised a hand in surrender. “We just wanted to talk before we went down to figure out breakfast. Make sure we’re all on the same page.”
Opening my door wider, I leaned back, waving them in with a lazy flick. “Sure. Why not? It's been working for us soooo well so far.”
Rion glared as he shoved his way past me, but I was having a hard time caring. If this was how it was going to feel to have her hate me, then I would’ve fought for telling her about us immediately, working on getting her to accept us that first night. Hindsight was a bitch like that.
“This isn't the worst-case scenario,” Rion started, and I rolled my eyes. “Foedus hasn't killed her or taken her from us, so we still have time.” His hands were out as he walked from one side of my room to the next. I mean, sure, it was better than that, but our situation still felt pretty shitty.
Roux sidled up next to me, leaning against my wall with his arms folded. He stayed quiet, letting Rion get it all out like always.
“I’ve already drafted a letter of intent about making her our externus. This way they can all back off while we repair everything with Rin.” He opened his mouth to keep going, but I couldn't stop from inserting myself.
“Sure, yeah, whatever. That takes care of outside forces… but what about on the inside?” Rion’s brow lifted in confusion. Sighing, I straightened up. “Did you not notice how last night went? How can she stand the sight of us, let alone agree to be our outsider? There’s no way she’s going to just sit there and let that happen. We have to fix our relationship with her first.” I looked at Roux for support, but he just shrugged. Fucking useless brother.
Rion flicked his fingers like I was an annoying gnat. “She’s a smart girl. This is all for her betterment. She will get on board.”
“I agree she’s smart. That's the only reason she’s still here,” I said, trying to reason with him. He needed to see her point of view instead of getting lost in the bigger picture. “But even with all the smarts in the world, she’s still human and has feelings.” With my own insecurities getting the best of me, it was easier to stare down at my feet. “If we make her stay, I’m afraid that the hurt on her face last night will change into resentment. She’ll grow to despise us, and I can’t bear to see that happen.”
Rion’s attention was all on me as he growled, “Isn't that why we have you? You're the one we send to smooth things over with people and make alliances. Isn't that your job?”
My head slowly rose, my teeth clenched, really trying hard to rein in my emotions before I answered. “Sure. That’s my role when we’re playing R. Ambros, when we’re one person, but with Rin, we’ll always be individuals. So, no, just slapping a Ravi band-aid on the situation won't work.” Asshole. I said that last part in my mind, so it should be fine.
I didn't think my super planner brother could be this dense, but here we were, arguing about how to handle Rin in the best way possible. He was thinking about Foedus and her life, while I was thinking about Rin and her heart, and Roux on the sidelines, just waiting to see who won so he’d know what he needed to do.
This was why it would never work with only one of us. We were too focused, too trained in our own ways of thinking, leaving us unable to see the other side. It was why we made a great team. I needed to remember that.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I took a deep breath. “Look, at this very moment, we need to worry about breakfast and Layrin. No one wants to have conversations like this on an empty stomach.” I eyed them until they nodded, and the tension in my body drained out of me.
“Alright. We need to pull out all the stops.” Turning to Roux, I switched on my inner bossy Rion side. “You're on sausage and bacon duty.” Swiveling over to Rion, I exclaimed, “And you're on waffles.” My muscles tightened as my tired body perked up now that we had a plan. “And I’ll be on eggs and drinks. If we do this quickly, we might beat her to getting up first.”
My lips tugged up to the side as my brothers nodded, taking me seriously for once.
All three of us quietly made our way down the stairs. I noticed a bundle peeking over the couch, so I quickly made my way to the kitchen. The wind was knocked out of me when I saw Rin sitting at the table in the seat facing us, staring down at her hands curled around a steaming mug.
She looked up, and it was like a punch to the gut. She was wearing the t-shirt and jeans combo I’d gotten her at the mall, which squeezed my heart. She was wearing my gift. Her eyes had bags under them, and I knew she had gotten as little sleep as I did, which made me feel worse. She didn't smile or joke. Her usual calm and happy demeanor was sucked out as she straightened in her chair, looking at us with sharp, unyielding pools of molten steel.
“Good morning, boys. Let's continue our conversation now that we're rested.” Her pointed gaze and tone, both directed at Rion, were palpable. I did not want to be in his shoes right now, but he took it like a champ, moving into the seat directly across from her.
Roux and I sat down, waiting for her to freak out on us, but that didn’t happen. No, Rin calmly took another sip of her drink before she spoke.
“I had some time to think about everything, and I came to a conclusion. I realized that I don’t really care that much about what you do for this organization. In a way…” A small sad smile flashed across her face. “You're like the soldiers in the street gangs, but, you know, more like a mega corporation.” Rion’s eyebrow lifted toward her, but he didn’t correct her. I had to admit, it wasn't the worst analogy.
Her cheeks bloomed a rosy red before she shook her head. “I mean, the concept isn’t foreign to me. It's the way of the world, so I… get it.” She looked up and around at the house, shrugging to herself. “Plus, I should’ve figured a place like this came with strings.”
The two halves of me battled within my chest. One side hated the fact that she’d experienced situations that made her accept people who did bad things, while the other side was thrilled that she didn’t see us as killers to be afraid of. Maybe there was some hope for us.
“What I’m really bothered about…” Her fingers curled around the mug as her eyes narrowed. “What I really hate are all the lies you three have told me.” Her head lifted, those gorgeous silver eyes hardening. “From the second I got here, and even before then, you lied and kept secrets from me.” She pointed to each of us, making sure we knew how serious she was before she sighed. It was this cold, dark sound that you make when you’ve given up. “It was naive of me to think you were the boys that I once knew.” Her sad eyes turned away from us, looking down at her cup. Brick by invisible brick, I felt her building a wall to create distance between us.
I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that we were who she knew. That she had always known the real us and that's what made us cling to her. She was the only one who saw us as a whole as well as individuals. The only one that made us work toward a goal in life.
“I don’t think you really want the truth. I don’t know why you don’t just let us handle everything so you can live a happy life. Better than the one you’d been living.” Rion’s no-nonsense voice rang out before we all turned to him with various degrees of shock.
What the fuck? I palmed my face. Did he seriously just say that?!
My logical brother's eyes twitched as she looked at him like she had just been slapped. His jaw clenched, and I realized where this little attitude was coming from. He could feel it just like I could. She was taking the long way around in trying to tell us that she was going to leave, and he didn't like her throwing that massive wrench in his plans. While my brother was technically a genius, he was also socially and emotionally stupid, so he didn’t see that he was taking the completely wrong approach to change her mind.
Her whole body shook, her eyes telling me she was gearing up for a fight, and I needed to turn this around. I waved my hand in front of her face with a strained giggle. “He didn't mean that, Layrin. He’s just getting a little pissy. Don’t mind him and his mood swings.”
She looked at me, the edges of her eyes softening, and I knew I just needed to coax her some more. She would settle down and retract those claws that were ready to sink into some flesh.