Page 57 of Love is Grand

I swallowed my words, afraid of what I might say next. Crazy thoughts were tumbling around in my head like clothes in a dryer.

Cal turned and paced the kitchen. “I don’t know what I’m doing, that’s for sure. The only thing I don’t want to do is hurt you. I’m trying.”

His words trailed off at the end, and in that pause, I felt for Cal. He was trying, so I stood and went to him. This time it was me pulling him close and kissing away his fear.

We stayed like that for a while, our lips locked, our arms around each other, the world and all its responsibilities slipping away. For this one moment in time, it was what we both needed, and we didn’t need to speak it aloud.

Cal

After the episode in my kitchen, I was left completely drained.

All this relationship shit was harder than I ever thought it would be, which was why I’d avoided it in the first place. I’d thought it was difficult, and it was. I wanted to punch the wall or go for a run. Instead, I could only try deep breathing to calm myself for the woman carrying my child.

After exploring the house and then sitting outside with me for a while, Shell had to go. She needed to make some deliveries for the coffee shop and do some paperwork before picking up Weezie.

I asked if she wanted to get dinner, and she said Weezie had a playdate and she didn’t have the heart to cancel. Since I had no clue what a playdate was, I couldn’t argue. Later last night, I searched for it in my book, but I guessed it was something that came well after the birth since it wasn’t in the what-to-expect book.

Fuck, I’d need a new book on what to expect when you inherited a kid.

Now, I was finally in my goddamn car I’d been trying to buy for weeks, and picking up Shell for the ultrasound. She texted she’d be at the coffee shop, so I went a few minutes early to grab a cup and make nice with her dad. I knew how this shit went ... I needed to keep showing up, so they didn’t think I was going to disappear. I’d seen it enough in my clients.

“Morning,” I said to Sam, who was finishing up with a customer.

As soon as he gave them their change, he asked me, “Coffee?”

I nodded.

“With Shell’s syrup?” I didn’t care for sweetened coffee, but I wasn’t going to turn down her dad when he was offering his daughter’s products. “For sure.”

“Coconut or vanilla?”

“Oh, I have a choice? Coconut. When in Rome,” I said, trying to joke, but Sam didn’t laugh.

He poured my coffee, added the syrup and half-and-half, and handed me a cup. “On the house.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to do that.”

“Drink your coffee and shut up. You and your brother are bankrolling this whole project. I’ll give you a coffee when I want.”

When his dark eyes narrowed on me, I decided not to argue. Instead, I drank my coffee.

“Wow, this is great. Doesn’t taste fake or have that aftertaste.”

Sam nodded, seeming to know what I meant.

Thankfully, Shell came out of the back and smiled. “Hey.”

“This is fucking great.” I tipped my cup toward her. “Coconut.”

Her face lit up with pride. “Thank you.”

“Later, you’ll have to show me how you do it. I do remember seeing you practicing, and it was messy, but I loved it.”

She pressed her lips together, a nonverbal warning to not say any more about our kitchen tryst.

Smart enough to read the signals, I said, “Let’s go see our baby.”

“Call me later,” Sam said. “We’ll have Weez, and she’ll want to know.”