Page 64 of Love is Grand
“Oh, shut it. You made your point. Now, can we go to lunch so we can send our brood to college without worries?”
He gave me a quick nod and stood.
“So, a girl?” I asked him on our way out of the office.
“A girl. Rylan seemed disappointed, said she would mess a daughter up, but after some talking, she’s set on the idea.”
It was my turn to nod and smile.
What the fuck did I know? Apparently, nothing.
Later that night, I called Shell and said hi. It wasn’t like we hadn’t been talking the last week and a half, but our conversations had been strained. Once again, it was my responsibility to clear the air and apologize.
After we said our hellos and how-are-yous, I recapped the conversation with Adam, saying that I wanted to be more transparent, and mentioned that I was a shitty person to deal with.
“I’m not selfish. I just don’t always get it,” I had to admit.
Shell sighed. “I know. It hurt, though. This is why I didn’t want to do this. I’m getting attached and, well, I don’t know where your head is at.”
Sitting on my rooftop balcony—because I lived in a primo bachelor pad in the Meatpacking District—I started to say where my head was at.
“Well, I’ll tell you,” was all I got out before I heard a deep voice in the background.
“All done,” he seemed to say.
Then Shell said, “One sec,” and I heard some murmuring.
What the fuck?
All of a sudden, I was pacing and sweating for the second time today.
The lights of New York sparkled below me, irritating me further. The world was going on down there while mine might be falling apart up here, all because I was an idiot.
My thoughts raged and roared in my head while I waited for Shell to get back to me.
“Cal?” She returned to the call and said my name with a question at the end as if this were my fault, but I wasn’t the one keeping her waiting.
My temper flared. Knowing it wouldn’t serve me in this scenario, I channeled what I thought Adam would do, and said evenly, “I’m here.”
“Sorry. I’m sure that came across poorly.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Everything is fine. You were saying something?”
That’s how she’s going to handle this?
Looking up at the night sky, I collected myself.
“Shell, I was going to ask you to come visit. With Weezie,” I quickly added. “That was where my head was at. I wanted to fly you here. Private, if necessary. But now my head is in a different place. Like, why is there a strange man in your house? At night? With Weezie there? And why did you cover the phone to speak with him?”
Yes, I’d messed up a thousand times already, but Shell was mine. Isn’t she?
She cleared her throat. “My sink was leaking all over the floor. It didn’t start until after five. I tried to turn the water off, but I couldn’t get the right angle to reach the knob without hurting my belly. Weezie wanted to call my dad, but I didn’t want to upset him.”
“So, why didn’t you call me?”
She laughed. “Caleb, you’re in America. I’m here. What were you going to do?”