Page 16 of Sinned
My eyelids were heavy. I could barely keep them open anymore. I didn’t want to just fall asleep like that when he asked me a question, but I didn’t think I had enough energy to answer him.
I can’t tell him that he’s the kind of guy I could easily fall in love with, I thought.
CHAPTER SIX
Charles
“I can’t tell him that he’s the kind of guy I could easily fall in love with,” she whispered.
I blinked in surprised. She didn’t mean to say that aloud, but I was glad to hear it.
No! I wasn’t glad. I shouldn’t be glad, I thought. But I couldn’t deny how my heart beat after hearing her words. Ava wasn’t just beautiful, she was funny and smart too. It was a combination that was stealing my heart.
I lay beside her, not touching her, listening to the steady breathing of sleep. There was no way I could fall asleep now.
While she spent the day joking and flirting, I spent the day struggling. I couldn’t explain why I found her so tempting, I only knew that when I looked at her I wanted more.
I tried to keep my distance and control my thoughts, but it seemed we were meant to be thrown together. Was she meant to be my temptation? Was God testing my faith?
Next to me, Ava shivered. In her sleep, she pulled the covers further up. The room had cooled off considerably since we arrived and there wasn’t any heat. Worried she might be getting sick, I knew I needed to do something to warm her.
I slid closer to her, resting my head on her pillow. I didn’t want to wake her, but I needed to get close enough to her to transfer my body heat. She continued to shake, her teeth chattering.
As I moved my body to spoon hers, she rolled over to face me. Her head slipped onto my arm and she pressed her breasts against my chest as she looked for warmth. Even with the robes between us, I could tell how soft her body was crushed against me.
Still asleep, she wrapped her arms around me and sighed as her shivering stopped. I pulled the blankets around us and held her. As my cheek rested against her silky hair, I pushed the impure thoughts from my mind.
My lustful thoughts were sins. I would have to confess them once we were back at Amaru and I could call Father Liam. A priest shouldn’t be thinking about the carnal pleasures of a woman. And I was.
* * *
She was still in my arms when she woke. Our clothes were still damp, but I needed to get back. Being so close to her was too much for me. I wanted to see all of her, touch her, taste her. She made me wish I was a man and not a priest.
I had to stop that.
Ava didn’t protest our sudden departure. Nor did she say much during the drive back to Amaru. I focused my eyes on the road, not wanting to see how her clothes clung to the curve of her breasts or how the sunlight made her eyes sparkle.
Once we were back, I parked by our building so that she wouldn’t have to walk through the town in her damp clothing. I didn't want to share the sight of my disheveled angel with anyone.
As we reached her door, she turned and stopped me with her hand on my chest. Without thinking, I covered her hand with mine and pressed it to my heart.
“Thank you for last night,” she said.
I was lost in her eyes for a moment as she stood on her tip toes. I wanted to kiss her. I needed to feel her soft lips and the warmth of her mouth. As I leaned closer to her she kissed my cheek then disappeared into her room.
I wrestled with myself as I stared at her door. Every part of me knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her. But even if my body was satisfied, I would still want more. It wasn’t just her body I desired, it was her. All of her.
As I locked the door to my room, I knew it wasn’t to keep anyone out, but to keep me in. I needed guidance and direction. I needed to confess.
I pulled out my cell phone and discovered a weak signal. I wasn’t sure if it would be enough to make a phone call, but there was only one way to find out. I tapped the number for my mentor, Father Liam Walsh.
“Charles, is that you?” he answered.
“Yes, do you have a few minutes?”
“Of course. Is something wrong?”
“I need to confess.”