Page 20 of Grumpy Orc Daddy

"Sunscreen time," he announces, as if it's a fun game they're about to play. When he pulls out the sunscreen, his actions are gentle and careful, and Lily patiently lets him dab the cream onto her skin.

Lily claps her hands, giggling, and I'm surprised by how domestic and natural this scene looks—how right it feels.

"Good job, Lily," I chime in, trying to keep my voice light, though my heart feels heavy with burgeoning emotions.

As the day unfolds, Janta's nurturing doesn't stop. He's always a step ahead, from ensuring Lily tries some fruit during our picnic to finding a shady spot for her to sit and play when she starts to tire. His foresight in taking care of her needs makes me smile, yet it also sends a ripple of longing through me.

I watch them, observing the easy rapport between them. Each laugh they share; each look they exchange—it all adds layers to my already complex feelings for him. My admiration for Janta deepens, and with it, a sense of fear creeps in.

How am I supposed to keep my feelings in check when every act of kindness he shows, every smile he gives Lily, only makes me fall a little more for him?

It's a beautiful, sunny day, perfect in so many ways, yet I'm internally wrestling with a storm of emotions. As I watch Janta lift Lily into the air, her squeals of delight echoing around the park, I realize how much I want this—this picture of us as a family. But the fear of what that might mean, of the changes it could bring, holds me back, leaving me to admire from a distance, my heart quietly yearning.

As the day fades into evening, the soft glow of the kitchen light and the gentle steam rising from my cup of tea create a comforting backdrop. I'm on the phone with Sophia, pouring out the tangled emotions that have been swirling inside me all day.

"Soph, it's just... I don't know what to do. Every moment with Janta today felt so natural, so right. Watching him with Lily, seeing how caring and attentive he is—it's like looking at what could be, you know?" I confess, tracing the rim of my teacup with my finger.

Sophia's voice comes through, warm and understanding. "It sounds beautiful, really. But I hear that worry in your voice. What’s holding you back?"

I sigh, my gaze drifting to the window where the last light of day lingers. "Everything is so complicated. We’re co-parents, and now, these feelings... I’m scared of messing things up, especially for Lily. I can’t risk her stability."

Sophia’s tone is a blend of softness and seriousness. "That’s a valid fear. But have you considered that what’s best for Lily is to see her mom happy and loved?"

Her words sink in, stirring fear and longing in my heart. "I want that, I really do. It’s just so hard to know if I’m making the right decision."

"Have you talked to Janta?" Sophia asks, her question pointed, cutting through my cloud of uncertainty.

I pause, the idea sparking both excitement and anxiety. "No, I haven't. I’m not even sure if he feels the same way. What if I’m just reading too much into everything?"

Sophia chuckles softly. "Rayna, from what you’ve told me about how he acts around you and Lily, I’d say there’s a good chance he might feel the same. Maybe it’s worth finding out?"

I nod, even though she can't see me. "Thanks, Soph. I think I might just need a little more time to figure things out. But talking to you has helped clear some of the fog."

We chat a little longer, Sophia offering both comfort and laughter, and by the time we hang up, I don’t have all the answers, but I feel lighter, armed with the gentle reminder that whatever path I choose, I don’t have to walk it alone.

After hanging up, I let the calm of the evening wash over me as I resolve to keep things strictly platonic with Janta. The stability we've cultivated for Lily means everything, and the thought of jeopardizing it makes me uneasy. My feelings for Janta are undeniable, intense, and deeply confusing, but I keep reminding myself that Lily’s well-being is my absolute priority.

I focus on the simple truths. Janta and I are good together, not just as potential romantic partners, but as co-parents. We're a team, and right now, our teamwork is about providing a loving, stable environment for Lily.

I decide I’m going to busy myself with being the best mother I can be. It’s difficult keeping my emotions for Janta in check, but each day, I remind myself of the reasons behind my choice. Love is complex, but a mother’s love is clear-cut and straightforward. For now, that clarity has to guide me.

CHAPTER 12

Janta

My brow furrows at the thoughts that fill my head.

“Am I ready for this? Can I actually do this?” I murmur to myself, hitting the table in agitation.

I remember Lily’s laughter, her cheerful smile, and her giggling self, my heart melts. A tender smile tugs at my lips and I realize something.

“I’m doing the right thing,” I murmur to myself while squaring my shoulders.

As I stretch out on the couch, my mind wanders to the events of the past few days, replaying the moments I shared with Rayna. The weight of her words, the vulnerability in her gaze—it's all seared into my memory, leaving an indelible mark on my soul.

I can still feel the warmth of her hand in mine, the gentle squeeze of her fingers as she confided her deepest fears and hopes. It was a moment of profound trust, a sacred exchange that bound us together in a way I never anticipated. The emotional intimacy we shared that night lingers like a phantom embrace, leaving me equal parts exhilarated and terrified.

As I gaze at the framed photograph of Lily on the coffee table, her infectious smile melting my heart, I can't help but wonder what the future holds for Rayna and me.