Page 122 of Borden 3

That moment of epiphany felt surreal. I felt warmth settle into my being. A resolute feeling that I did know what I wanted, and it had been there all along—long before Theo, and long before the solitude treks in the night.

“Emma, please…” he whispered into the open air. “Please come…”

Heartbroken, I watched him begin to shake. He ran his hands through his hair, clenching at the ends.

“Please don’t leave me, Emma…”

I covered my mouth to stop the sobs from escaping. I held my breath, fighting to remain strong as I silently said goodbye to Theo.

“EMMA!” he suddenly screamed into the night sky, enraged and in despair, pounding at his chest before he collapsed on his knees and buried his face into his hands.

He realised I would not come.

I realised it at the same time.

He held on for two whole hours after midnight. He paced and he shouted, he trembled and he pounded at his chest some more. Finally, he went quiet, his breathing slowing down as he calmly nodded to himself.

Then he left.

Chapter Forty-Three

Emma

I sat in a booth, fingers trembling. Borden had been alone with him for over an hour now. I sort of wished I’d stayed, but Theo was triggering. The past was a bitch, and it reminded me that while I wasn’t that girl anymore, I still held her inside of me. I wanted to weep for her sometimes. To tell her good times were coming. Fucked up, sure, some of it was, but I wouldn’t always hurt or feel lost.

“I’m sorry.”

I stiffened at his voice. I didn’t turn to look at him. I didn’t need to. He came around the table and slid into the booth in front of me. I kept my eyes on my keychain, saying nothing.

“You still put your key around your neck,” he mused, softly. “That was always pretty fucking cute. You always lost your shit.”

“Don’t act like you still know me,” I retorted.

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t know me anymore.” My face reddened with anger and pain. “What you knew is now a ghost. Someone I used to be. A slice of a broken soul that yearned for affection and didn’t understand when it was bad for my health. Who you knew is long dead. You knew the caterpillar, not the butterfly.”

I made to leave, but his hand shot out, gripping my arm. It was gentle. I could have flicked it off and stormed away. But I looked at him instead.

“No,” he said quietly. “I know you’re still in there, and I know you’re angry, so you’re pushing me away. Rightly so, too. I was doing the same fucking thing. I didn’t mean what I said, okay? I’m sorry. I’m not that bad, Emma. Look, Borden even let me come down here to apologise. That’s gotta mean something if your gorilla man is letting me talk to you.”

The fight immediately left me as I fell back into my seat. I took some moments to calm down. He was being reasonable, and I was being juvenile. “You’re right. I’m… upset.”

“I know.”

“You said nothing wrong.” I sighed. “We’re not friends, Theo.”

“Of course we’re friends.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Do friends have an expiration date on them?”

“When they ditch you, they do.”

Theo went still. This time I looked up at him. His green eyes looked so tired as he peered at me. “I was in trouble. I didn’t mean to ditch you—”

“I ditched you,” I corrected him. “I left you, standing there, at the tracks.”