Page 30 of Hawk

“Dad-dee.”

I grin. “Yes, princess?”

Lilly hands me another fry. This time I take it and toss it in my mouth. She giggles.

“Um—yeah,” Ivy says. “We’ll work something out for sure.”

“Why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?’

“Like you’re not sure?”

“I am sure. I want you to be a part of her life, Gideon?”

“Are you sure you’re sure because you certainly didn’t want me to be a part of yours.”

“Gideon, I—”

“How horrible must I have been for you to do what you did to me?”

She looks to the left and right, judging our distance from people and says discreetly, “Gideon, I don’t want to do this here?”

I bang the table with open hands and ask, “Then when are we going to do it?”

Lilly’s face balls up like she’s about to cry. I didn’t mean to upset her, but the pain I feel is still very much present. Sex with Ivy didn’t fix it. Living with her for almost a month didn’t fix it. I don’t know what will.

I stand up, toss a fifty on the table, and say, “Catch an Uber home. I’ll bring your bags in here so you’ll have everything.”

“Gideon, wait—”

“For what? You don’t need me anymore.”

And with that, I leave her there. I don’t know why I thought we were going to have some quality family time. She made it clear how she felt about me, and I’d be a fool to overlook that.

Chapter 12

Ivy

The one-eighty in the restaurant has me baffled. I thought we were making progress, but apparently we weren’t because me and Lilly are in the back of an Uber, on the way home to my apartment. She’s sleeping when I arrive so I lower her to the crib and close the door to her room. I haven’t been here in some time so I take the time to spruce up the place. I vacuum the carpets, mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, then dust the furniture. Now that I don’t have to worry about Cash coming after me, at least I can relax.

After cleaning, I grab my Instacart grocery delivery from the front door – all five bags stuffed to the brim – and take them straight to the kitchen to put them away. I don’t have it in me to do much else but sit on the sofa. That’s when a memory of Cash hitting me and chasing me around the coffee table all comes back to the forefront of my mind. He really did a number on me, and I held it all in – kept the details from my family – and now, sitting here reflecting on that, I fall apart and cry. I never thought I’d be a victim of domestic violence. All I wanted was to live a good life – one I didn’t think I had with Gideon, but I was so busy trying to change him that I didn’t see him for the man he was. He didn’t have to do any of this stuff for me and Lilly, but he did. And now, he’s right back out of my life again. He’ll be there for Lilly, but he made it clear that we were pretty much over for good.

After much debating, I decide to call my mother. During all the chaos that was going on in my life, I’ve shut her and my father out. I couldn’t imagine telling them what was happening to me, but now that I can start rebuilding my life, I’m no longer afraid.

When she answers the phone, she says, “Ivy, where have you been? Me and your father have been worried sick. Are you okay? Is Lilly okay?”

“We’re fine, Ma. At least now we are. I have some things to tell you and I just want you to listen. Can you do that?”

“Yes. I can do that.”

“Whew,” I say breathing through it while trying to release the tension in my throat. “I was in an abusive relationship.”

“Oh, no…”

“Ma, you said you would listen.”

“Okay, right. I’m sorry. It’s just so jarring to hear this.”