Page 31 of Hawk
“I know, but just try because I wasn’t going to tell you at all. I didn’t want you and Dad to know any of this, but yes, I was being abused. I tried to stick it out, but I couldn’t, especially for Lilly’s sake.”
“When you say abuse—?”
“He was hitting me and threatening my life. He was yelling at me and Lilly constantly. I couldn’t live in fear anymore, thinking he would harm Lilly. So, I left and was living in my car before Gideon took me in.”
“Gideon? I thought he was locked up?”
“He was, but he got out recently.”
“And you ran right back to him—the man you left.”
I sigh heavily and respond, “It wasn’t necessarily like that, but, yes, I did.”
She’s silent but I can hear her judgments loud and clear.
“I’m assuming you told Gideon about Lilly.”
“I did. He knows he’s the father. Look—I’m sorry I shut y’all out, but I just thought that was the best thing for me at the time.”
“But you’re safe now?”
“Yes.”
“And where is Cash?”
“I don’t know. Gideon and his friends took care of it and I didn’t ask any questions, so I’m not sure what they did. All I know is, he’s not bothering me anymore.”
“Are you back with Gideon now? You told me you were done with that situation. I thought you were ready to file for divorce, but what do you do? You go running right back into his arms the moment you get into some trouble instead of running to your family.”
“Ma, don’t start this.”
“I mean, really, Ivy? Why wipe your hands clean only to dirty them up again? Look at the life he leads. He ain’t right for you. I don’t think you know what’s right for you. You may as well pack up and move back home with my grandbaby.”
“I’m not doing that. It’s my life. I’ll figure it out. I was calling to let you know what was going on—not for you to sit there and judge me. I can’t do anything to change the past. All I can do is continue to move forward.”
She sighs. “You’re right. I just—I don’t know why you choose to be with men like that.”
“Ma, Gideon has never laid a hand on me.”
“Then why were you divorcing him?”
“Because, I—”
That’s a good question – one that I’m apparently not prepared to answer.
The doorbell saves me from not having to. I say, “Ma, somebody’s at the door. I’ll have to call you back, okay.”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting.”
I shake my head and sigh. When I end the call, I proceed to the door, wishing at times like this that my door actually had a peephole. The most I can do is leave the chain lock on and open the door to a crack.
Before I do that, I ask, “Who is it?” feeling my pulse increase. What if Cash came back? Maybe Gideon didn’t take care of the situation as well as he thought.
I wait but get no response. I ask again, “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Ivy.”