Page 107 of Blinded By Hate

Jaclyn looks at me.

I clear my throat, my nerves starting to sky rocket and my anxiety going crazy. “Well, I’m your dad.”

Junior shakes his head. “No you're not. If you were my papa then where have you been?”

I look at Jaclyn this time while Junior stares at me with confusion.

“Well, your papa, he didn’t know how amazing you were until recently. He’s been wanting to meet you for a while.”

Junior looks at his mom with a smile. “Really?” Jaclyn nods with a smile. “So you want to be my papa?” Junior asks me.

I give him a small smile. “I do. I am your papa, but I want to be in your life.”

“Are you and my mama married?”

Not yet but I’ll get there, just be patient.

“No. But I want to be a part of your guys’ life. You and your mom.”

“How did you guys have me if you aren’t married then?” Junior asks, looking at his mom this time.

“Well baby, things happen a certain way and we just had you. But the point being is your papa wants to start seeing you and he wants to have a relationship with you.”

“So I have someone new to play with?” Junior questions and Jaclyn nods her head.

“Yea. I would love to hangout with you and get to know you better if that's okay?” I raise my eyebrow at him. “I was thinking that maybe we could all go to the aquarium today? Your mom said that you like going there, right?”

Junior nods his head and smiles widely. “Do I call you papa?”

I look at Jaclyn and she gives me a small smile and nods, making sure I know that I’m doing alright.

“I mean, I would love for you to call me papa but I know that’s probably weird, especially since you just met me right?” Junior nods his head. “So you can call me Hay or Hayden.”

Junior's face brightens. “My name is Hayden too!”

“I know, it’s a pretty cool name, isn’t it?” I say, not able to contain my smile.

Junior nods before looking at his mom. “I like him.”

Jaclyn smiles at him, a genuine smile that I feel like I haven’t seen in a while. Last time she smiled like that was in college when she was genuinely happy.

“So you ready to go to the aquarium?” I ask Junior and he nods his head excitedly.

Junior looks so much like me there is no doubting that he’s my son.

I can’t believe I have a fucking son.

Forty-Six

Jaclyn

Present

Watching Hayden hold Junior on his hip as they point to all the fish does something to me. Even seeing Hayden smile so wide when Junior yells at him to look at a certain fish or whenever Junior runs towards another exhibit and Hayden runs after him to make sure he doesn’t get lost.

Hayden has always been the protector type.

I, out of all people, should know.