Page 120 of Blinded By Hate
I remain calm so Junior doesn’t see my change in mood. “Where’s your cereal?”
Junior points to a cupboard near the fridge. “I also need to take my medicine. I have to take it every morning before I eat. Mama says if I take medicine with no food it’s bad for me.”
“Why do you take medicine?” I ask, now worried and a little pissed off that Jaclyn is hiding even more from me.
What could she possibly be afraid of that she feels the need to constantly lie to me?
“Something’s wrong with my heart,” Junior says. “My medicine is in the very top cabinet,” Junior says pointing to another cabinet on the very top.
I open the cabinet and it looks like a regular medicine cabinet with first aid stuff and some pill bottles. “Your mama takes medicine too?” I ask, looking at one of her pill bottles. Some of them are labeled Lexapro and others are labeled Prozac.
Junior nods his head innocently. “She said it’s so she doesn’t feel sad anymore.”
So she doesn’t feel sad anymore?
Why the fuck does she take these? It’s basically poisoning her.
Now I also can guess why she lost so much fucking weight and looks so dead most of the time.
She’s probably back into those old habits she told me she was on when she was in high school.
Over my dead fucking body that I’m going to let her ruin herself like that.
I put the bottles back and instead look for Junior’s pills. I find some with his name on them. On the bottle it says, diuretics, which is fucking heart failure medicine.
What the fuck?
The more I keep finding in this stupid medicine cabinet the more pissed off I’m getting. “You only take one pill or two?”
“Just one. And then I take another at night,” Junior says as he seats himself on the chair at the island.
I give him a small cup of water and then his pill. He takes it easily which I worry about because no kid should be taking pills this young.
I make Junior a bowl of his favorite cereal which is Cocoa Pebbles. Jaclyn eventually comes out wearing dress pants that have a flare on the bottom and a black vest over a white button up.
She looks goddamn beautiful but I am still pissed.
Jaclyn can tell because she furrows her eyebrows at me. I don’t do anything. I lean against the counter as she walks inside the kitchen.
“Morning, baby.” She kisses Junior before going towards the medicine cabinet.
Junior smiles at his mother. “You’re coming to my school tonight right? My teacher said that I’ve been good and I want you to know,” Junior asks while looking at me.
“I promised I would, right?” I tell Junior, making him smile.
I want to smile back at him but I can’t.
I’m so mad to the point where I feel a blood vessel might fucking pop or something.
I thought everything after last night would somehow be okay. Watching a movie, doing absolutely nothing with Jaclyn and Junior was my definition of a perfect night. I would dream about nights like that.
But this morning, fuck it’s like a bunch of overwhelming information that you don’t want to hear just shooting at you.
Jaclyn opens the medicine cabinet. “I already gave him his meds,” I mumble and Jaclyn looks at me, her eyes slowly starting to tear up. “Sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.”
“I have to go to work-”
“Sit down,” I demand and Jaclyn’s tearful eyes turn into a glare. “I already told you I would take Junior. I can have my driver take you to work. You have time to sit down for a few minutes and eat.”