Page 17 of Blinded By Hate

“And what are you going to do tonight to celebrate the win?”

“Hopefully have a good dinner and rest,” he says but it sounds like he is trying to insinuate something, but then again, it could just be my overthinking.

I force my thoughts away and look at the camera. “Well there you have it, viewers, Hayden Night, the Heavyweight Boxing Champion.” I say before relaxing as Diego puts the camera down. “We can go now. Thank you guys,” I say, as Diego packs the camera. I start walking away, trying to hurry out of the room but I feel a hand, warm and familiar, catch mine. I turn around and see Hayden’s hand holding mine. It’s been five years since I was last touched by Hayden Night and this time around his touch feels more powerful, like a simple touch from Hayden can just break down my walls like it’s slowly starting to do. “Yes?”

“Get out of here with that yes bullshit. I want to talk,” Hayden says and he pulls me closer to him, his hand still holding onto mine.

I see Freddie move from behind Hayden. He raises an eyebrow and I just shake my head and look at Hayden.

“I can’t. But it was nice seeing you, Hayden. You look really good,” I say before looking at his arms that I want to just lick.

“Yea, I can say the same about you,” Hayden says, as he looks up and down my body.

Yeah my breasts got bigger from Junior but I’m a fucking stick now from how much I starve myself.

Can he see the insecurities radiating off of me?

He always knew whenever I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

Now I realize this is the first time I’ve thought about Junior since the fight, which is unlike me because he’s on my mind twenty-four seven.

And Hayden has no fucking clue.

“Hayden-”

“Please, it’s been five years. I want to talk to you.”

I lick my bottom lip making Hayden look at it before meeting my eyes. “About what?”

Hayden gives me a knowing look and raises his eyebrow that’s pierced. “You know what.” A memory of me in that dark room with the black hooded man comes to mind and I shiver. Hayden furrows his eyebrows. “What was that?”

“What?” I raise an eyebrow at him and take my hand out of his.

“That shiver right there?” He tilts his head while looking at me intensely.

“It was nothing. Like I said, it was nice seeing you Hayden, but I have to go.” I turn around again but he grabs my hand. I take it out immediately, forcing the tears away that all of a sudden want to fall. “Please, Hayden.”

“So after five fucking years, we finally see each other again and you pretend nothing ever happened? Bullshit. Remember the last thing I said to you?” he says, walking up closer to me. I just glare up at him, holding my ground. My heart wants him, craves him, but I know that I shouldn’t. My mind is telling me to leave, go back to the peaceful life with Junior and never let another man touch me again. “Please, I’m literally begging you.”

I shake my head and back away from him. “I can't, I'm sorry.” I turn around and go to Diego who is waiting near the door.

I force myself not to look at Hayden one last time before I leave through the door following Diego out.

Seven

Jaclyn

Present

I watch Junior as he cuddles into his pillow.

Brandon told me he was good today while I was working. I got home maybe around thirty minutes ago and since then I’ve been in Junior’s room watching him sleep.

I haven’t taken my Lantus or my nighttime meds.

As if they will do anything to calm my racing thoughts down.

I also have been pointing out every small detail about him that is similar to Hayden.