Page 18 of Blinded By Hate
His eyes are the most similar thing. I have seen a few baby pictures of Hayden and when Junior was a baby, he looked a lot like him. I wish I could have the two pictures side by side to see how much they actually look alike.
Today was a lot.
Seeing Hayden, after five years of healing my broken heart and building those walls back up, all I wanted to do was fall into his arms and pretend that what happened back then was just a bad dream.
But it was reality and I still think about it to this day.
I press a small kiss to Junior’s forehead. I pull the blanket over his shoulders and stand up to leave his room.
Brandon is sitting down in the living room on the couch, watching Hayden’s fight.
He recorded it, plus my interview that was live on another channel. I place my heels on the floor next to the couch and sit down next to Brandon.
We watch Hayden start the second round with a punch to the face. Everyone screams his name and the crowd goes crazy.
“He looked at you when that happened, right?”
“Yea,” I say, my eyes still on the TV as I watch Hayden pummel Robert against the ropes.
“I watched the interview,” Brandon says before he changes the recording to where it shows me and Hayden on the TV.
Seeing us both together, standing next to one another makes my heart ache. Our height difference, the way he looks down at me. I look up at him like he is my world and vice versa.
“Did Junior see?”
“No. I put him down before I watched it.” I nod my head and reach for the blanket next to me to cover my legs. I still haven’t changed my dress. “You see the way you look at each other, right?” Brandon asks as I just stare at the screen ahead. Of course I see the way we look at each other. The way Hayden’s lips would lift in a smile every now and then and the way I would blush simply by his words. “I mean, the way he looks at you makes me think he still loves you the same. Maybe even more.”
“No, he has a fiancé, remember?”
Brandon rolls his eyes. “That’s a rumor and you know it.”
“He had a ring. I saw him give it to his trainer, so I know it’s not a rumor.”
Brandon nods his head at that before asking. “What happened after the interview?”
I lick my bottom lip. “He wanted to talk and I said no.”
“So you didn’t tell him about Junior?”
I look at Brandon and see that he’s giving me a disappointed look.
“No. I didn’t because Junior’s life is at peace with just me. Adding Hayden, who is possibly getting married and is a famous fighter who comes with fame, is not a good idea for him or me. My history with Hayden also just happens to be something that I can’t deal with either.”
“I know you went through a lot that night, I do. But that’s Hayden’s kid. You have to tell him somehow. What happens if he were to find out?”
“He won’t find out, Brandon.” I roll my eyes and get off the couch.
I don’t want to talk about Hayden anymore. He is someone from my past and I want him to stay there because I’m so scared of getting hurt again by him.
Do I miss Hayden?
After seeing him today, hell yes. But I won’t make the same mistake twice and that’s why I ran. I know I promised him I would stay but I couldn’t.
That night ruined me.
The girl he fell in love with is gone and replaced with something that’s empty and void.
I only ever feel light with Junior and I’m okay with just sticking with him for the rest of my life if it means not getting hurt like I did all those years ago.