Page 60 of Blinded By Hate
“Yes,” I answer. “Do you like yours?”
“It’s fighting. Of course I do,” he says with a small smirk.
Hayden and I are close enough to one another to the point where he could just grab me and hold me in his arms while I wrap my legs around his waist but we aren’t going to do that.
“How did you start? Most people start professional fighting when they're in their late twenties.”
“Are we having our interview in the water?” he teases.
I look around. “I don’t see a pen and paper anywhere,” I joke.
Hayden smiles at me, swimming closer. The smile on his face reminds me of how he used to smile in college.
His genuine smile lit up my world.
“That can be a story for another time,” he says, looking down at my lips before meeting my eyes.
“Will there be another time?” I ask before thinking.
“I want there to be.”
I lick my bottom lip before saying, “You know we can’t be friends Hayden. We can never be just friends.”
Especially since you and I have a kid together that you don’t know about yet.
Suddenly, I feel Hayden’s warm hands slide on to my waist and pull me closer. I don’t push him away, instead I wrap my legs around his waist and hold onto his chest.
God, I’m going to hell.
But I don’t care.
Right now, my mind feels quiet and there is no pushy voice in my head telling me what to do.
“I don’t want to be just friends with you. I never have.” Hayden leans his head against mine. “The day I saw you in that fucking alley, I knew you were going to come knocking on my heart. You dug yourself so deep that I can’t fucking get you out, no matter how hard I try to, princess.”
I shake my head lightly. “You have to stop saying things like that.”
Hayden leans his forehead off my mine and furrows his eyebrows at me. “I can’t tell you something that is true?”
“You can’t say stuff like that to a girl you aren’t marrying,” I whisper before looking down at his lips, because I can’t help it. I meet his eyes again.
“I just wish that life had better timing for you and I,'' Hayden says before putting his hand on my cheek. He strokes the skin softly and my eyes flutter closed. And for just a second I pretend that Hayden is mine and I am his. We didn’t lose the last five years of our life together and everything is okay. I pretend that I’m happy. “Do you remember what I said to you that night we broke up?” he whispers in my ear.
Hayden turns around to look at me. A tear falls from his eyes and I can’t help but let out a sob as I look at him.
“Please don’t make this harder. I just need to be alone for a while, Hayden. Trust me, it’s not you. It will never be you. I just can’t feel anything other than emptiness and numbness.”
Hayden walks towards me slowly and he wraps his arms around me and rests his forehead on mine.
We stay like this for what seems like forever until he kisses my forehead. I feel his tear on my forehead and that just makes me cry harder.
“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting for you,” he mumbles before letting go of me and leaving without looking back.
“Yes,” I whisper as a small tear falls from my eye.
Hayden leans forward and presses his lips against my forehead. “Good.”
Twenty-Four