Page 64 of Blinded By Hate

We spent most of our time in the water. We didn’t kiss or anything but he held me against him in the water. The entire time I was worried about someone seeing us since a lot of people know he is in Italy and if someone were to take a picture of us we’d both be in deep shit.

And I’m afraid he would somehow find out about Junior if more of the public knew about me.

Although I was overthinking about everything, being with him with his arms around me, I felt safe and happy. I missed his touch and assurance.

I missed him in general.

No matter what my mind says, my heart will always long for him.

But this can’t happen between him and I.

Hayden is getting married and I have morals and self respect which I can’t just break. One kiss and him touching me is enough damage.

I still am cursing at myself and overthinking about letting him hold me in the water.

But for some reason, being with him doesn’t remind me of the bad memories. When I’m with him, all I feel is longing for more and maybe even love.

But did my love for him ever go away?

I remember when I saw him at the fight, I was terrified because I haven’t seen him in years, but being in Italy, away from our jobs and the public, everything feels somewhat more relaxed then over there.

Hayden opens my door and we both walk inside.

I put my bag on the bed and turn to the side slightly. I feel Hayden’s eyes burning holes where the scar is, again. When we got out of the water he looked pissed when he saw my side.

That night, he didn’t know they cut me because the wound wasn’t bleeding anymore because the blood dried. I had blood on my shirt but Hayden didn’t know where it came from.

“Who did that?” Hayden asks, still looking at my ribs.

I grab a shirt and throw it over my head so that he can’t see the scar anymore.

Am I still ashamed of it when people ask about it? Of course.

I try not to think about that night at all.

Hayden walks closer to me and grabs my wrist as I try to turn around. I don't want to look at him because I can’t help but feel like I’m going to cry if he brings up this situation.

“Jaclyn.” He turns me around to look at him and I feel my eyes start to water a little. “Tell me.”

I push him away from me. “Don’t worry about it. It’s done.” I walk past him and go to open the door but Hayden stops me and instead he pushes my back against the door. “You need to leave.” I glare up at him.

“I’m going to ask one more time,” Hayden whispers and leans down. “Who did that to you?” he asks. “Marco? Eric?”

I try to force him back but he doesn’t budge. “Don’t worry about it. It’s in the past and doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does if they fucking did what I think they did. I swear to god-”

“What are you going to do? They are both in jail. It won’t make any difference. You knew they touched me.”

“I didn’t fucking know they carved out the tattoo you got for me,” Hayden says, his jaw clenched and his hands near my head.

“Well they did. It’s too late to do anything. They are in jail where they should be.”

“I’m going to fucking kill-”

“Kill him?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

I always knew that Hayden had this darkness inside him that he never showed other than out in the ring.