Page 34 of Once Upon a Star

“What’s going on with us? Why do you look like you want to kiss me one second, and then don’t the next? Why did you give me all those gifts if you weren’t interested in me romantically? Do you want to be friends? Do you want to be lovers? What is going on?”

“What do you want?” Bash asked.

“That isn’t an answer.” I stormed past him and into his room. It was smaller than mine and I realized he had allowed me to have the master bedroom. It was just another sweet gesture and only made me more confused about what was going on.

Bash followed me into the room, walked over, and put a shirt on. I looked away when he did, feeling somewhat disappointed that he had. Though I hadn’t been able to think when he wasn’t wearing one. If I was going to say everything I had been thinking and feeling for the last few days, it probably was best that he had a shirt on.

“Where is this coming from?” Bash asked.

I had spoken my mind, there was no turning back now. “What do you mean? You practically kissed me an hour ago, but then you acted like it never happened. There are moments when you look at me like you want to tear off my clothes and then the next like you’ve never seen me before.”

“Maybe because all of that is true,” Bash said.

“What?” I stood in front of him and put my hands on my hips. I had wanted answers from the man, so far all he had done was confuse me more. I hadn’t thought that was possible

“That. Seeing you standing there in front of me, looking so angry, so defiant. It reminds me of when I first saw you holding your paddle next to you like a goddess. You were barely a teenager and I was mesmerized by you. I can see that same girl when you stand in front of me now. The same look, the same anger, the same defiance. But you aren’t. You aren’t a girl; you’re a woman, a sexy, attractive, and incredible woman.

“It makes me dizzy sometimes to see it. I know you, or at least I think I know you, but you're not the same woman I knew all those years ago. You’re better. You’re certainly better than me. You certainly don’t need me. Not like I need you,” he said.

I laughed. What said made my heart ache and was too absurd to actually believe. “You don’t need me. You’ve never needed me.”

“You’re wrong. I’ve always needed you. I’ve always wanted you. I will always want you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me, why didn’t you show me, why haven’t you kissed me? Why were you playing these games with me?” I asked.

“I wasn’t playing games; I was being cautious. A month ago, you wouldn’t even talk to me. I know I hurt you. I know I screwed up. I’m sorry about that. I want to make up for it, I was trying to make up for it. I wanted to talk about it, but every time I tried, you changed the subject. I didn’t want to push it or you.

“I’m treading water here and I have no idea if I’m ever going to see land. I’m doing the best I can because I want you; you have no idea how much. But I don’t want to push you. I tried to be happy with being your friend, with being able to share a drink with you. It was all you were going to give me and I took it. But I want more and damn it, I’m human and there’s only so much I can take.

“So, yes. I might have leaned in a little too close. I might have looked at your kissable lips and sexy breasts, and perfect ass more than I should have but I have been in love with you so long, I can’t just shut it off.

“When I feel you pushing away from me, when I think I’ve gone too far, I back off. But it takes everything in me to not pull you to me and tell you that I want you in my arms. That I have missed you and I want you back. But I don’t because I don’t want to scare you away. Because I will take anything you give me, even if it’s only a fraction of what I want.”

Bash looked away from me and let out a long sigh before turning back at me. “Does that answer your question?”

I was shocked by his words and yet I wasn’t. Isn’t that what he had shown me countless different ways since he had shown up outside my work? Had I been too blind to see it? Had I not wanted to see it? Of course, he cared. Of course, he wanted me. I had been too scared to allow myself to accept that. Looking at him then, I knew he meant every word.

More importantly, I felt the same way. I needed him. I wanted him. I had missed him and I wanted him back. Knowing how he felt and understanding my own feelings made it easy for me to go and stand right in front of him.

“You missed me?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“You want me back?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“I missed you, too. I want you back. You don’t scare me. Well, that doesn’t scare me. The only thing that does is going to bed one more night without you next to me,” I reached up and pulled Bash’s mouth to mine.

Chapter 19

Sebastian

Ara’s mouth was on mine and it took my mind longer than it should have to realize that. My hands were quicker to respond and they went up to her hips and then slowly wrapped around her. This was what I had wanted, dreamed about, and yet having her, holding her, feeling her need as she stood next to me, almost didn’t feel real. I had thought countless times what it would be like to have her in my arms again, and it still wasn’t as spectacular as the real thing.

Ara’s mouth opened with a moan and my body came alive with the sound. My hands gripped her body tightly as I dove my tongue inside her mouth. Her tongue was like silk and she tasted like the pizza we had just eaten. The smell, taste, and even sound of her brought me back to our youth. This was the woman I had loved my entire life, the one who knew me better than the rest. It quickly made all other thoughts but touching, kissing, and pleasing her leave my body.

Our conversation had been heated, necessarily, but filled with anger and passion. I wanted Ara, had wanted her forever, but I didn’t want her to feel guilty about being with me or have any remorse. I wanted her, all of her, but only if she was truly willing.