Page 18 of Malevolent Hearts
“Don’t worry, trouble. I’ll keep my toes to myself. Now, if you could shut up, that would be excellent.”
All of a sudden, I’m aware of every breath she takes, even noticing how she sinks into the mattress as she pulls the duvet around her, leaving me with nothing but a tiny sliver. After a few awkward seconds, she releases a heavy sigh. “Cadden?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m still going to hate you tomorrow.”
A smile stretches across my face. “Ditto, trouble.”
Before long, her breathing deepens as she drifts off to sleep. Unfortunately for me, I have no such luck, kept awake by the taste of the lie lingering on my tongue.
Ten
Beibhinn
The Present
Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.
—Edgar Allan Poe
I stare down at the key in my hand as Cadden peers out the little slit-shaped window next to the doorway. “There are things I can’t change, believe me, if I could, I would. Edgar Allan Poe once said, ‘Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.’ Time’s up for us, B. Your minute starts now.”
My brows furrow as he turns his back to me. “That’s it? You’re departing the conversation with some ridiculous poetry line disguised as a riddle?”
His gaze sweeps over his shoulder, his heterochromatic eyes holding me in place. “I can’t protect you from the truth. It was only a matter of time before he came for you.” His head juts towards the window, pointing out the blue Mustang I can now see eating up the dirt laneway that leads towards the lighthouse.
Liam. How the fuck did he get here so fast? It’s been less than thirty minutes since I texted the group chat. He must have already been on his way.
“What are you waiting for, Beibhinn?” Cadden tosses his hand towards the door as he steps onto the first rung of the ladder. “The cavalry has arrived. It’s time for you to face the reality of your fiancé’s actions.”
It’s moments like this I wish I could read his mind, because although there is an air of arrogance to his words, I can see the turmoil haunting his features. What could he have possibly done to make me hate him as much as he thinks I will?
Behind my ribcage, my heart pounds against my chest, and for the first time in my life, I feel rattled by what the truth holds. “What are you hiding?”
Judging by the look on his face, I don’t know what would be worse: hearing what I want to hear, or hearing what’s honest.
Unfortunately, Cadden chooses to remain cryptic and delivers another half-truth. “A Devereux heir, it would seem.” Pulling his gaze from mine, he tips his chin to his chest. “Just go, B. Please.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Isn’t this what I wanted? An escape.
Why the hell does it feel like the opposite? For some reason, it’s like I’m leaving half of my heart in Cadden’s possession, and if his demeanour is anything to go by, there is a strong chance I’ll never get it back.
Swiping a tear from the corner of my eye with my knuckle, I track Cadden as he climbs the ladder before disappearing into his sanctuary without a backward glance.
I need to leave, go back to Killybegs and make sure everyone I love is okay. But there’s a piece of me, the part that belongs to Cadden that wants to follow him and figure out what the hell he’s hiding from me. Something is not right. His retreat has my guts twisted into knots. Not once, in all the years Cadden and I have played this game, have I ever seen him look this defeated. This broken.
What can I do, though? He won’t share his demons with me. Too scared to let me sneak a peek at the man behind the mask in case I don’t like what I see. Peering down at the slogan stretched across the T-shirt I’m wearing, a huffed laugh gets trapped in the base of my throat. Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.
What a load of horse manure!
Bringing my gaze back to my hand, I focus on the freedom I hold in my palm. My tongue swipes at my bottom lip as my head rages against my emotions. Too many times I’ve allowed my heart to rule where Cadden is concerned, so for once I need to follow the dread poisoning my gut.
I close my eyes, and draw in a deep breath, hoping to find the courage I need to make the right choice. Before I can talk myself out of it, I gather my belongings off the floor, place the key in the lock, and twist. The old door cracks open with a clunk that ricochets around the library. Then, after throwing one final glance over my shoulder, I take the first step down the spiral staircase, leaving the boy who held me captive behind. The truth is mine to find, here’s hoping I don’t lose my once-in-a-lifetime while I search for it.
As I descend the stairs, half of me expects Cadden to follow, but he doesn’t. With a heavy heart, I continue towards freedom, to the one person who can hold me together—my twin brother.
Once I’m at the tower’s base, I pause, questioning my choice again. Am I doing the right thing, walking away without pushing him to give me more of an explanation?