Page 80 of Tempting Devil
“That you wanted to keep the truth from me because you didn’t want me to know what you’ve become.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in a hard swallow as vulnerability flickered over his features.
Despite the perfectly tailored suit he wore, I saw a glimpse of the old Samuel again, the man who was so full of love and compassion I couldn’t help but give him my heart. But I knew how this would go. I’d been here countless times over the past few weeks, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. In a matter of minutes, Samuel would disappear and Gideon would take his place.
How much longer until Gideon eliminated what was left of Samuel, just like he eliminated Alton and Brian McGuire? How he planned to soon eliminate James and Liam?
“I’m begging you to leave me alone. Let me hold on to the good memories I have of Samuel. No more mornings at the coffee shop. No more keeping tabs on me. Just…let me forget I ever heard the name Gideon Saint.” My voice caught at the thought, but I had to do this for my own wellbeing. “Let me remember Samuel Tate the way he deserves to be remembered. For all the good he once did. Not the…monster he’s become.”
Tears threatened to spill over, but I kept them at bay, not wanting to give him a reason to comfort me. Not wanting to fall under his spell again. My heart couldn’t take much more of this tumultuous tug-of-war it had fallen victim to since the day I first noticed the man with familiar blue eyes.
“After everything you’ve put me through, I deserve that much,” I choked out.
He parted his lips, his gaze holding me captive for what felt like an eternity, my plea hanging heavy in the air between us. I sensed he wanted to say something. To argue. To tell me he’d stop this desperate need for revenge and close this chapter of his life.
Or maybe that was what I wanted him to say.
“You deserve to move on,” he said very matter-of-factly.
“You do, too.”
“I don’t think I can,” he admitted, his eyes searching mine for understanding. “Not until I finish this. Not until I know none of them are a threat.”
“Then this needs to be goodbye,” I managed to squeak out, the sharp stab of pain in my throat making it difficult to speak.
He sighed deeply, but didn’t protest or try to convince me otherwise.
Instead, he clutched my cheeks, causing me to suck in a quick intake of air as electricity heated my veins from his familiar touch. Regardless of his actions, I couldn’t find the strength to push away. I stared into the blue eyes that were once filled with so much love, but were now clouded with lies and deception.
With agonizing slowness, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, lingering for several heartbreaking seconds as I breathed him in for the last time. He held me close and, for a moment, I almost expected for him to change his mind. To sweep me into his arms and promise me I was enough. That I was more important than this need for revenge.
But he didn’t, releasing his hold on me and stepping back.
“Henry will drive you home.”
He didn’t even meet my eyes. Instead, he simply turned and retreated down the hallway without a single look back.
I thought losing Samuel all those years ago was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
But this? Knowing the man I once loved was alive, yet I still pushed him away regardless? It destroyed me. What did he expect, though? That I’d be okay with his plan for revenge?
I already had to bury Samuel once.
I couldn’t do it again.
Instead, I needed to keep him alive in the only place he was safe…
My memories.
Chapter Thirty-One
Gideon
“Are you sure about this?” Henry asked as I peered at my reflection in the mirror of my suite at the Beverly Hills hotel where a political fundraiser was being held.
Normally, I hated everything to do with politics, but I was willing to make an exception today, considering Senator James Turner was also on the guest list.
And I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized exactly who was responsible for the missing funeral director.