Page 47 of Big Britches
“Do you think I’m uptight?” Pedro said, perhaps too abruptly.
“No. No. Not at all. I’m an idiot. That’s what I think. I thought we were on the same page. I was hoping maybe you felt the same as me.”
“How do you feel, T?”
Titus opened his mouth to speak, but words wouldn’t come. Aside from Tucker’s birth, he’d never been happier than he was right now. But his joy came from so much more than the sex. Everything about Pedro rang of possibility–the companionship, the conversation, the camaraderie. Sure, physicality played into it, but only because Titus wanted to feel everything that had anything to do with the man before him. He wanted to experience as many things with Pedro as he could–eating, sleeping, laughing, crying, touching, holding, soothing, pleasing… So much so that his tongue felt thick and cumbersome, unable to articulate any of it. Pedro had consumed his thoughts this way ever since having laid eyes on him.
“It’s OK,” Pedro said. “I get it. It’s no big–”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Titus blurted.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“I believe in lust at first sight… especially after today.”
“What if that’s just a part of it?”
“I don’t know.” Pedro shrugged. “I’ve always thought of the notion as purely a literary device–a trope. I’ve never really considered it, though, in the real world.”
Titus nodded, acknowledging silently, trying his best to shield any insecurity.
“Wait,” Pedro said. “Are you saying–?”
“Nope. I’m not saying anything else. I’m too scared of what you might say.”
“Let me say this then. I enjoyed what we did and I wouldn’t be against to doing it again. I was stressing out for most of the day about several things but, now that I’m here with you, I’m completely at peace.”
“What are you so worried about?”
“You name it. That tonight is just sex, or that maybe it isn’t just sex. That I’ll jeopardize you as a client, and Silas will find out. That I’ll lose my job, my sponsorship, not become a citizen, not move my mother, not–”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. That isn’t gonna happen. None of that. You have to trust me, P.”
“I know, and I do, now. When I’m with you, all of my worries evaporate. I’m not saying that they’re no longer concerns. I just realize that I’m human, and I have a right to be happy, too.”
“You do. And even if things didn’t work out between us, I would never turn against you. That’s just not me. I would always be in your corner, doing everything to help you realize those goals–your dreams.”
“Thank you. I think Barb was trying to convey that to me this afternoon.”
“I like you, P. The more I get to know you, the more I like you. You remind me that I’m still young, and that there’s more to life than just being a father. The future holds endless possibilities. It’s a little overwhelming.”
“So, you’re not just going to have your way with me, and then throw me to the dogs?”
“Hell no. If I could, I’d keep you prisoner and never let you back outside that gate. What was that phrase you said earlier… the one from the movie? See me?—”
“See only me.”
“Yeah. I like that. Now, how about coming over here closer to me?”
Pedro set his cup on the table and went to Titus, clutching the towel at his waist.
“You don’t need that towel, you know? We’re dry now, it’s warm out, and there’s no one else around.”
“I don’t know,” Pedro said, glancing at the slight rise beneath the towel in Titus’s lap. “I might need an extra layer… for my protection.” He grinned.
Titus spread his legs, stretching the towel taut and patting his thigh. Pedro sat, curled his legs up, and leaned into him.