Page 56 of Tailwhip
I feel like all the air was just knocked out of my lungs. “What do you mean you’re done with us?” He gets up so fast, it almost knocks me over. I also stand up. “Anthony, answer me. YOU’RE the one who called me over to your hotel room at 1 in the morning because you said we needed to talk. So, talk.” With a shaky voice, I say, “Please,” as I’m fighting back my emotions.
He has his back to me, looking at something in his backpack. “Look, I have been too distracted since being back with you. I need to get back on track and only focus on the team and myself.”
I try to hold back my emotions that are trying to bubble up. “So, I’m a distraction. WOW.”
He continues to say, “I shouldn’t have come back here after the tour left Denver or brought you out to Dallas. I shouldn’t have done any of the things I did.”
I stand in the room, frozen; I don’t know what to say. “Anthony, please don’t push me away. Tell me the truth, stop making up shit.”
Now, he is full on looking at me, showing nothing. He has no emotions and at this moment, I don’t recognize this person standing in front of me. “Ashlynn, have you stopped to consider how this whole attack has made me feel? I am drowning in guilt for what happened to you, but you haven’t cared to ask how I feel about it. It’s all been about you, the distraction.”
My chin starts to shake when he refers to me as such. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop from crying. I look down and shake my head. “Everything you have said to me these last months has been nothing but lies? I am such an idiot for believing you.”
Anthony walks past me, into the bathroom, “Yeah well you said it, not me.”
More than anything he has said to me, that one rubs me the wrong way. “FUCK. YOU. ANTHONY.” I tell him; it stalls him in his movements because I have never talked to him that way.
We are both quiet for what feels like an eternity. I am the first to talk. “You know, I hope when you are done drowning in your guilt and make it out of the storm, I hope you find the clarity you are looking for, but I will not be a part of it.”
He jerks his head my way, “I don’t want you to be part of it. You need to leave; I have shit to finish packing.”
Walking to the door to leave and not looking at him, I say, “Anthony.”
After I say his name, he yells, “God dammit, Ashlynn, just leave. You know what this is, stop delaying it. Do I need to spell it out for you?”
His outburst makes me jump. I close my eyes to muster up the last bit of fight I have for him. “After I leave here, I don’t want to ever talk or see you again. Don’t call or text me.”
“Okay, great. You won’t ever hear from me again. Bye.”
I open the door and say my last goodbye to the only boy I ever truly loved and the one who just shattered my heart to pieces. “Goodbye, Anthony Ville.”
I close the door behind me with the softest click. As I start to walk away from his room, I hear a loud crash and Anthony yell, “FUCK!”
I stop holding back my emotions; it’s no use at this point.
Once I reach the sitting area where Heath is waiting, he starts asking me about what happened. I hold my hand up and shake my head no. We then head into the elevator to go home. Back in the car, I lean my head against the window and let my tears silently fall as Heath starts driving us home. After a few minutes and through watery blurry eyes I notice that Heath is driving to his house. I turn toward him. “Why are we going to your house?”
He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I’m not going to leave you alone tonight; you’re upset. You’re going to sleep at my house and if you want, I’ll take you to yours tomorrow.” I don’t fight it and squeeze Heath’s hand back, letting him know okay.
Getting inside the house, I go straight to the bathroom to splash some water on my face, trying to compose myself. It’s no use, though. I feel like half of me has been torn from my body. Opening the door, Heath is right there with a shot of whiskey. “Thought you might like this.”
I take it from him and throw it back. I know drinking won’t do anything, but numb my feelings for a short time. Still, I consider going to the kitchen and getting the entire bottle. I don’t, though. I rest my head on Heath’s chest and my body starts shaking with my crying. Heath just hugs me and lets me soak his shirt with my tears. “Let’s get you to bed; come on.”
We walk into the guest room; I kick my shoes off and crawl under the covers. I don’t know for how long, but Heath lays down next to me and just holds me, letting me cry. I feel like I have nothing left to cry; everything has dried up.
I sit up to ask Heath a question. “Heath, can you please do me a favor?” He stays quiet, but nods his head, I hand him my phone, and he gives me a confused look. “Can you please hide all alerts for Anthony? I don’t want to know if he tries to call or text me. I can’t see that.”
Heath takes my phone out of my hand, “I can just delete his contact for you?”
Shaking my head, I say, “I’m not ready to fully let go. Can you just hide the alerts?”
Heath holds my phone and looks at me. “Are you sure?”
I take a moment and really think about saying yes, but I don’t and decide against it. I look at Heath and tell him, “Yes, I’m sure.”
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Anthony