Page 63 of Our Own Light
Around noon, they had lunch in a restaurant, which Floyd hadn’t never done before. It was a real treat, especially since it was with Ollie. They had the same sandwich—brisket, mustard, and pickles—which they both really liked. After that, they saw a picture called The Kid, and it was a thrill to spend so much time laughing like that. Being in the dark with Ollie was romantic, too, even if the film wasn’t a romantic one.
Finally, once the movie was over, they found a music shop, one that sold phonographs and records and even instruments, too. Unfortunately, none of the models they had cost less than twenty dollars, which was something Floyd had not expected.
“How can they be so expensive?” he wondered aloud, scratching his head. “Last one we had cost me fifteen. I thought they might be even cheaper now.”
Ollie touched his arm. “Let me ask the owner. Maybe they have more in the back.”
While Ollie talked to the owner, Floyd stood there staring at the little white price tags. Twenty. Twenty-two. Thirty! How could people afford these?
Ollie returned, wearing a frown.
“He says they stopped carrying some of the cheaper models last year.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure,” Ollie said. “I’m sorry, Floyd.”
“Guess I’ll have to save up some more.”
Ollie huffed in irritation. “You’d have had enough if it hadn’t been for the exchange rate,” he muttered.
Anger zipped through Floyd’s veins, hot and fast like lightning. Why was Ollie so keen on talking about Donohue Coal and Steel? Every comment Ollie was making kept reminding Floyd of the past—of the conversations he’d had with Matt about them needing to leave the coal industry. Floyd was already aware of the problems with these coal companies. Ollie wasn’t telling him nothing new. But no matter how bad things were, Floyd couldn’t never leave. Not when Matt hadn’t never been able to. Thinking of the fact that Matt hadn’t never made it out, Floyd’s heart started beating wildly. Pretty soon, it was pounding so doggone ferociously that he couldn’t keep himself from showing how flustered he really was.
“I thought we weren’t talking ’bout the coal company no more,” Floyd spit, his voice stern.
“Jesus Christ, Floyd, why are you so upset every single time I mention the many, many ways in which the coal company is cheating you? It’s not like I’m saying it’s your fault. It’s Frederick fucking Donohue’s! And Don Chafin’s, too.”
“Hush up, Ollie!” Floyd said, the volume of his voice startling even to him.
Ollie looked unfazed by it.
“You’re being so... so ridiculous about this!” Ollie exclaimed, and Floyd’s hands started to shake. “Look, Rock Creek is a fine place to live, but I know there have to be better towns out there, towns where companies can’t fucking mandate that you work past lunchtime even if you’ve filled your car early, towns where companies can’t short you because they feel like your car has too much rubble, towns where companies aren’t charging miners an arm and a leg to replace a broken carbide lamp!”
Floyd’s nostrils flared. “I like Rock Creek! I worked hard to build a life there!”
“But there are better—”
“So, what, Ollie, you want me to up and leave? Are you saying I chose wrong? Are you telling me that I ain’t taking care of my family?”
“What?! No! Of course not!”
“After everything we been through in McDowell, me and Effie are happy to have a home in Rock Creek. Donohue’s nicer than some of them other coal operators out there, trust me.” Thinking of the man who had hurt Effie, Floyd’s stomach tightened, and he swallowed hard, fighting the bile that was rising in his throat. “Effie... Effie knows that, too.”
“Floyd—”
“You think you’re so smart because you been to college, but I know we got it better than a lot of other miners in West Virginia. Did you know that Donohue only stocks them short-range explosives in the company store now? He came by a couple years ago and made a big speech about it, saying it was safer, saying he wanted to make things better for us,” Floyd said. “And we got them test lamps now, too. And plenty of other things. I’m not risking what I have—what my family has—by moving somewhere else. I can’t move somewhere else. I can’t leave the coal industry. I can’t—”
Floyd’s breath shook, and suddenly, the world started to spin. Squeezing his eyes shut, Floyd had to hold back tears. Not only were his hands starting to tremble, but his whole body was shaking too. He couldn’t stop thinking of poor Matt. Smart, caring, loyal Matt who had never made it out, who had never realized his future. Who had never realized their future.
While Floyd was lost in his upset—trapped in visions of the past—Ollie took him by the forearm and led him outside. Dazed, Floyd let Ollie take him far from the store and over to a bench. Floyd’s breath was still shaking when he sat.
“Floyd,” Ollie said softly. “Deep breaths. Slow.”
It took a whole bunch of breaths before Floyd could calm himself. Once his body stopped trembling and thoughts of Matt and the coal companies finally faded, Floyd was left feeling completely and utterly embarrassed about how fast his emotions had spiraled out of control. Shame trickled up the back of his neck, turning his ears hot, and he leaned forward to bury his head in his hands. Ollie rubbed his back.
“I never meant to upset you like that,” Ollie said softly.
“I know,” Floyd managed to say in return.