Page 67 of Sweet Madness

Time ceases to exist as we hold each other’s gaze, surrounded by a perfect hue of pink, her favorite color, as the wind blows softly.

That hateful word comes to mind again.

Friend.

It stings, yet it’s for the best.

I made a vow to protect her, and I can’t do that if I can’t protect her from myself. Falling for her will only make things difficult for both of us. My life is here, and hers is back in D.C. with her family and in school.

She has dreams that I can’t fulfill here in Montana.

I’m too old for her. Too old and too set in my ways, trapped in my past.

Her parents…

So many things separate us.

“Shaw bear.” The melodic sound of her voice brings me back to the moment.

The weight of all that keeps me from her feels too much to bear.

Her eyes sparkle as she looks up at me, her warmth kissing my skin.

It all happens so fast. One second I’m lost in her gaze, and the next, I draw Ella into my arms, feeling her intoxicating warmth against me. I press a gentle kiss to her forehead and breathe her in. It’s a silent acknowledgment of the tenderness I feel for her.

We stand there for a lingering moment, the world around us hushed as if holding its breath while I held her in my arms.

When I finally speak, my voice is soft but filled with sincerity. “You’re going to make some man incredibly lucky one day,” I murmur, then pull back, my fingers lightly brushing her pink cheek. “But that man... that man isn’t me.”

The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken regret and an undeniable truth. I feel a pang in my heart, knowing the depth of what I feel for her but also recognizing the reality of our circumstances. She is a multibillionaire heiress, and I am just her bodyguard for what remains of the summer.

Ella looks up, her eyes searching my face for any sign of hesitation or doubt. “B-but why?” she whispers, her voice barely audible and filled with sadness. “If it’s because you think you’re not good enough, you’re wrong.” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes as if she doesn’t want to ever let go. “You, Shaw Banning, are everything.”

You, Shaw Banning, are everything.

I hold her close for a moment longer, savoring the closeness between us before reluctantly letting go. Peppermint and Geraldine shift restlessly nearby, sensing the change in our emotions.

“No, baby, I’m not.” I whisper the painful words, knowing they are true. I draw in a long breath, holding it in my lungs until it burns, then blow it out.

I am broken.

She broke me long before anyone ever had the chance to tell me I was worthy.

And I never begrudged her, not even when I lost everything. When she took it all away with her.

But I do today because maybe if I wasn’t so messed up in my head, I would deserve this dream of a girl.

My dream girl.

The sweetest dream.

As we stand there amidst the tulips and the bittersweetness of the moment, I silently vow to save this memory—the memory of holding her in my arms, of kissing her forehead, and of letting her go with a heavy heart but with the hope that she will find the happiness she deserves, even if it isn’t with me.

I’ve been stabbed, shot, lost the one I loved most, and seen the horrors mankind is capable of committing in the name of war, yet nothing has ever hurt me more than this moment right here. The moment where I come to terms with the truth that we can never be more than what we are.

Bodyguard and client.

Never more than friends.