Page 58 of Cocky Tech God

“No, I don’t think she did.” I sighed. “I wanted to speak to her about it before the conference was over.”

“Let’s go to the room so we can talk about this.”

He touched my elbow and I suddenly needed him to hug me. I wanted some comfort because I felt like absolute shit. My prospects were dwindling, and I didn’t help by going out on a sailboat with Hansen for a day when I should have been going to workshops and networking. This was on me.

“What’s there to say? I blew it.” How could I have been so careless? My focus had solely been on my business for three years and counting. I’d always made it a priority. And my confidence had always been sky-high about my software’s performance. The one time I loosened up, let myself do something not related to work, it proved to be disastrous.

Falling for Hansen might have been the worst thing I could’ve done.

Losing my business on top of that would definitely be the worst.

Hansen

Back in our room, Lucia was in her head. If I weren’t there, she might not have noticed. But I understood her stress. I’d had it before, years ago when I first started Holte Enterprise and when I had my first security breach. Lucia was in a tough spot. Most businesses failed within three years. She was at the precipice of the statistic. And she needed NuvaTech as bad as she needed Morgan Financial Holdings.

I was torn, and I didn’t know how to help her. We’d gone over her code, and it wasn’t obvious to me how to help. What else could I do? She was still my competitor, and I couldn’t reconcile that with my feelings for her. I wanted to protect her, but I was also one of her obstacles to what she wanted—needed—to stay in business…the Morgan Financial Holdings’s contract.

“Luci, can we have a conversation?” I sat on the bed, watching her pace from the balcony doors and back to the bathroom door.

She dove all her fingers in her hair to cradle her scalp. “I’ve got a splitting headache.”

“Can I get you something? Aspirin?” I stood, ready to get her anything she needed to wipe the pained look off her face.

“No.” She released her hands, her hair falling all around her shoulders. “You’ve done enough.”

I paused. Her words were sharp, accusing. I wasn’t sure what to assume from her tone and her words. But I wanted to touch her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to know that she still wanted us. I walked to her and embraced her stiff body. For just a moment she softened enough to lean back into me, but then she stepped away as if she didn’t want to be around me, as if I was the cause of her pain.

“Lucia?” My voice was smaller than it should have ever been, but I was a desperate man there. I was waiting on her every word. “Talk to me, please.”

She faced me, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Sorry. I just…”

“What?”

“I just think that I should have been working, not having fun today. I shouldn’t have been so confident that our solution was the final solution. I was careless.” She averted her gaze. “You know my situation, and it’s not looking very good where I stand.”

Hell. Maybe she was right. I didn’t think about what ditching a day of the conference would mean for her. Even though at the time, she’d fixed her breach and all seemed well. But I knew LMS was in trouble. I knew she was near to halting operations. So, yes, I was selfish to ask her to come away with me under the guise of giving her a respite from the stress of working through a breach. As a person who always put work first, as I knew Lucia was, I shouldn’t have been so narrow minded. I was too wrapped up in my feelings for her. But she felt the same way, so I wasn’t sure to what degree I should feel responsible or guilty for what happened.

“I’m so sorry for what is happening to LMS. I never imagined it would get to this point. But we both made a decision, Lucia. I don’t regret asking you to come with me today, because I haven’t had a day like this in so long, I can’t remember. I also will not say sorry for telling you how I feel and for treating you how you deserve.” My heart was pounding.

She looked up, her face flush. “You’re right. I wanted today too, Hansen. I don’t regret it. I’m sorry I even suggested that anything was your fault. I’m just…not ready to face the real possibility that LMS may shutter.”

“It won’t.” I’d do anything I could to make sure that didn’t happen.

“If I don’t fix the breach and get a new client, I will lose everything.” She lifted her fingertips to her mouth, hiding a quiver that I could clearly see.

My phone vibrated. I glanced at it. It was a notification of a meeting I had with a prospect in an hour. How could I take this appointment? My mind was on Lucia and her problem, not closing a new client when Lucia had so much to lose.

“Hang on a sec.” I typed a message to my assistant back in New York who was monitoring my schedule and emails. I’d told her to reschedule my meeting.

Lucia had moved to the couch with her iPad on her lap. She scrolled through what looked like her code repository. I put my phone on the writing desk and went to the couch, though didn’t sit just yet.

“Let’s take a look.”

She looked up at me, her eyes determined but her under eyes dark from her worry.

I sat and took her in my arms. She let me, thank God. Relief filled me, making me hopeful. “I will help you with this tonight. We will find a solution that sticks.”

“Why are you doing this? You’re my competition, for God’s sake.”