Page 63 of Cocky Tech God
Me: The player is gone, and now it’s just me. I will grovel to make you see I’m not the same anymore. I expected you’d understand that. Tell me I’m wrong.
Yes, I was angry and I was hurt. But I was more worried that the Lucia I’d fallen in love with was gone.
My phone rang. I answered before the first ring ended.
“Am I wrong? Do you think I’m still a player?” My tone was hard, and my heart was soft. It was the weirdest feeling I couldn’t reconcile.
“You can’t do this, Hansen.” She sighed. “I told you, it’s over. There can never be anything between us. It won’t work.”
“Because of the baby thing?” I stood. “That is so far down the line. And I have a solution for that.”
“Come on, Hansen. This isn’t a breach to fix. This is life.”
“And I want to live my life with you, Lucia, however it turns out. I want to know for sure. We can adopt or have an egg donor and a surrogate. There are other options I’d be okay with.” A knot formed in my throat. Damn, I’d not been this emotional in a long time. I couldn’t remember what it was like to be emotional. The truth was, it sucked. But I’d go through this for her.
“Hansen…” Her voice grew frustrated. “I can’t give you what you want. Okay. I’ve said this. And I can’t do this anymore. I’m in the middle of fixing a security breach, and I have to give a presentation to a client shortly that I know I won’t win. I have a lot on my fucking plate right now, Hansen. Can’t you just give it up? Just give me up.”
I sat back down. I sighed, scrubbing my face. There was nothing I could do. She was done. “Is that what you really want?”
“Yes.” No pause. No hesitation.
“Why do I think you’re lying?” My voice nearly cracked through the rush of emotions flurrying to the surface.
“Because you’re lying to yourself about what we could be.” Her voice was stern, matter-of-fact. “The best thing you can do is forget this week. Forget everything. Just like we initially agreed on. I know I will.”
My heart sank all the way down. I didn’t know what to say, but I couldn’t say goodbye.
“I have to go, Hansen,” she said. “Good luck tomorrow, though I know you don’t need it.”
“Lucia,” I said, hoping she’d not hang up on me. “I love you. I really do.”
A pregnant, emotional pause sat between us. I knew she felt what I did in that moment. What a fucking shame.
“Goodbye, Hansen.” She did it…she hung up.
I sat with my phone against my ear, waiting for her to come back, say she loved me too. It wasn’t to be though. My words hadn’t persuaded her as I’d hoped. So, I had to do something to show her how much I loved and cared for her. I had to prove to her that I would do anything for her even if it was over between us.
I just had to figure out what measures I’d take to get her back.
Lucia
I can do this. I said the words to my reflection in the mirror at least a dozen times the next morning as I stood in front of the room credenza. Friday had come so fast, yet it seemed I’d been on the island for six months, not six days.
My mind reverted to last night. The phone call that broke my heart. I’d wanted to believe Hansen and take a risk. Work it out with him. I knew my trigger had been when I saw him holding Joy. The smile on his face, it was luminous. I could never make him smile like that, and he should. It got too hard, and in that moment, I did what was best. I ran, and his fight only made me dig my heels in because I wasn’t sure I deserved his fight. His words played over in my mind. And over the night, I started to wonder, why didn’t I deserve it? Couldn’t I deserve a man to fight for me? Hansen wasn’t my baby’s father, he wasn’t my ex-fiancé Marcos, and he definitely wasn’t my own father who’d abandoned me.
I dropped my gaze to my opened palms and studied the lines. I didn’t know how to read palms, and had I ever had mine read, but I’d love to know what my future was by what the creases told me. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I was reaching for a solution that would only come from my heart.
I had been surprised how open he was. I hadn’t expected it from him. And with that phone call last night, he’d shown me his soul. He’d also said he didn’t care if I couldn’t have children. That we could adopt or have a surrogate and a donor, but I couldn’t help but go back to my past. Marcos cared a lot about having his own biological children, and when we found out that I couldn’t, he briefly talked about adoption. Ultimately, that wasn’t his desire.
Would Hansen go back on his word if we did continue the relationship? I reconsidered the risk and concluded the decision I made was for the best. Hansen would move on—he was The Conqueror after all. I sighed. No, he wasn’t. He was honestly the most romantic man I’d ever known. And it was a pity that he was back to being my competitor and not my boyfriend, which is what my heart still really wanted.
I’d get over it. Who knew how long it would take. Now, I had all the time to think about LMS. I wasn’t as stressed out because at three in the morning, Mia called me with great news. We’d fixed the breach finally, and Ryan reset the simulation for our client. The result was an even better, more reliable adapting software, so I was back to being confident about our product. The client nearly cancelled their contract with us, but Mia was able to save it, touting we’d implemented iron-clad safety measures, ones that weren’t in place before. They’d give us another six months to prove ourselves.
My iPad sitting next to the landline phone lit up with a video chat. I swiped the screen and saw Mia’s face, dark circles under her eyes and a top knot on her head.
“Hey!” Mia said once I accepted the video chat. “So, I’ve already requested an appeal and reconsideration for NuvaTech. We aren’t going to go down without a fight. I thought we agreed on that when we started this company.”
“I appreciate that, Mia. You’ve really stepped up where I’ve lagged this week.”