Page 65 of Merciless Angel

Clover turned toward us, her face crumpling as tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. It’s not good for me to be with you guys anymore. It’s better for all of us this way.” To Raina she said, “Promise me they won’t be hurt.”

I let Gage shove me face down on the ground next to Daire. My chest was tight and my throat constricted as I searched for words. I had nothing. The woman I’d claimed as my own had just sold me out.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

CLOVER

I let Raina pull me along to the car. Together we got into the backseat while Knight slid into the driver’s seat and got us the hell out of there. Both Gage and Havoc stayed behind with the rest of the crew they’d brought.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I stared through the back window, watching as Gage slammed Blaze’s face against the hard asphalt. A hand went to my mouth as I bit back a cry. Now that it was too late to take back what I’d done, that was all I wanted to do.

My heart ached with the weight of my betrayal. Maybe there had been another way. Maybe I’d been too rash in making this decision. Not that it mattered now. It was done. There was no taking it back.

The shock on Blaze’s face as he realized I’d sold them out would haunt me for a long time.

“Everything is okay now,” Raina reassured me, pulling me into a side hug. “We won’t let them get their hands on you again.”

Memories of their hands all over me flashed through my mind. Why did her claim sound so fucking horrible? That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it?

Confusion shook me. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. My time with the Angels had changed me. I didn’t know myself now.

I managed to nod and mumble something that sounded like an agreement. While fresh tears filled my eyes, I stared out the window, watching the city at night fly by but seeing none of it. I was lost in my thoughts, lost in myself. What had I done?

The first thing we did was go right to the Angels’ house. We entered through the back kitchen door which had been left unlocked. While Knight kept watch downstairs, Raina helped me pack up my things.

Tears slid down my cheeks as I stood in Blaze’s bedroom. His scent was everywhere. Although he and I had bonded the most, there was no denying that Daire and Cash had come to mean something to me. I wasn’t entirely sure what that was yet, but that didn’t make it any less real.

“Bad memories?” Raina asked, misunderstanding my tears.

“Not really,” I admitted. “It’s just hard, you know?”

She pressed her lips tight together and nodded. If anyone would understand what I was going through, it would be Raina. Although I hadn’t been as honest as I should have been about my feelings. I’d kept my time with the Angels to myself, sharing minimally, afraid to say too much about the men who’d hurt my friend. It felt wrong to enjoy their company. To like anything they did to me, even though sometimes I hated it too. I was a mess.

I glanced at a black hoodie Blaze had tossed onto his bed. The temptation to take it with me was unbearably strong. I started to reach for it. No, I couldn’t. It would only be torture to myself.

As we left his room, Raina cast a dark glare at Daire’s closed bedroom door. That’s where the Angels had taken her the night they grabbed her. It confirmed for me what I already knew. It was wrong to form any attachment to these guys. I had to cut this cord now.

After throwing my things into the trunk of the car, Knight drove us back to the Gods’ house. I swallowed hard as another swell of tears choked me. I fought them back, not wanting to explain my emotions. I couldn’t even explain them to myself.

“Can I get you anything?” Raina asked after putting my things in the spare room downstairs. “Make yourself at home. I want you to feel comfortable here.”

I slid onto a stool at the kitchen island. A deep breath made my shoulders shake. “Thanks, Raina. I really appreciate this. Just some water please.”

I’d have loved to chug back a bottle of vodka right then. I didn’t trust myself not to drunkenly run right back to the Angels’ house and beg their forgiveness.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything stronger?” Placing a glass of water in front of me, Raina slid onto the stool beside me. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Clover. You deserve better than them.”

But I don’t want better than them. I don’t want anyone else.

The thought flitted through my head, making my heart hurt. I didn’t dare voice it aloud.

“I’m good, thanks. Probably not a good time for alcohol.” Staring into my water glass, I focused on breathing. One breath after another. No tears.

Knight slipped from the room, giving us some privacy to talk. The Gods had done terrible things to Raina. She’d done some shitty things right back. They’d still come together and found something special. I’d just blown any chance I’d had of having that happen with Daire, Cash, and Blaze.

Raina gently rubbed my back. “Come on, girl. Talk to me. You’ve been so shut down lately. What’s going on with you?”

A sip of water slid cool down my throat. I sighed. “I think I made a huge mistake.”