Page 66 of Merciless Angel
Raina hesitated before saying, “What is it that you haven’t been telling me? Do you have feelings for those guys?”
Rubbing a hand over my forehead, I forced myself to meet her inquisitive gaze. “I don’t know. I think maybe I do. Please don’t hate me. I know that I shouldn’t.”
“Do you feel that way because of what they did to me?” She waited for my nod. “Clover, you know that I understand what it’s like to fall for guys that are not exactly Prince Charming.”
“Not even Knight?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“Hell no,” she laughed. “That jackass gets off on making me cry. I still love him though. So I understand what you’re going through. Part of you wants to hate them, and then you hate yourself for loving them. I get it.”
My lungs deflated in relief. “That’s exactly how it feels. I don’t want to have feelings for the guys who hurt my friend. They also hurt me. I kind of liked it though. Does that make me fucked up? Maybe I need therapy.”
“You’re preaching to the choir, sister.” Raina waved away my concern. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’m over it. Can’t say I won’t punch Daire in the face several more times in the future, but I won’t hold it against you if you’ve started to feel something for him. For any of them. I know that this kind of thing isn’t always in our control. It’s a real mind fuck.”
“It’s too late though. It doesn’t matter now that I screwed them over.” My shoulders slumped as the harshness of reality set in. “They’ll hate me. They might even want to hurt me.”
Knowing she couldn’t argue that, Raina merely rubbed the back of my hand and bumped her shoulder against mine. When the front door opened, we both sat up straighter.
Havoc and Gage strode in looking far too proud of themselves. Gage had a smear of blood down one cheek. My heart began to pound.
“What happened?” I blurted. “Did anyone get hurt?”
Havoc opened the fridge and fished out a beer, drinking back half in one go. “Nobody died but those fuckers didn’t take it without a fight.”
I winced, wishing again that I’d thought this through longer before making my ill-fated decision. “How bad was it?”
“Nothing that a few days won’t heal,” Gage said with a careless shrug. “Daire got the worst of it. Dude can’t resist a good fight.”
Yeah, that sounded like Daire.
“What if they come after me here?” Part of me wanted them to come. Why couldn’t I shake that?
“We’ve got some guys parked outside,” Havoc explained, finishing his beer. “Nobody is getting in here.”
That should have made me feel better. It didn’t.
“I think I’m going to go to bed. Thank you for everything. It means a lot to me.” Sliding off my stool, I took my water and headed to the basement door.
Raina followed me as far as the door. “Want me to come down and hang out for a bit?”
“As much as I appreciate that, I think I need to be alone right now. I need to get my head on straight.”
She pulled me into a hug that tested my inner strength. I was lucky to have a friend like Raina.
We parted ways and I descended into the quiet basement. The only time I’d been down here in the past had been during parties. It had been loud and packed with people, liquor, and drugs. It felt like a whole different place now.
The spare bedroom was clean and basic. It lacked personality but it would do. I sat on the side of the bed for a long time, replaying the events of the evening.
Over and over I told myself that the Angels were bad news. They were controlling jerks with dark tendencies. I didn’t need them, and I shouldn’t want them.
It didn’t matter now anyway. They would hate me after what I did, and I probably deserved it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CLOVER
Summer classes had been a huge mistake. I couldn’t concentrate on anything the professor said as I struggled to keep my eyes open. I hadn’t slept well since the incident with the Angels three days ago.
I’d been staying with Raina and the Gods at her insistence. She didn’t think it was safe for me to return to the dorm yet. As much as I adored my friend, I couldn’t stay with her forever. It didn’t feel like home. I wanted to go back to my dorm. I hadn’t seen or heard from the Angels since the night I screwed them over. Maybe they’d realized it was better to let me go.