Page 86 of Truck Off
“Ugh,” I groan and drop my head back against the shelf with a thud. “I don’t know how.”
“Then tell him that too. If you want this to work, tell him all the things. Help him understand your struggles. And he will understand. I’m sure of it.”
“How do you know that? For all we know, he’s just playing me.”
This time she gives me a you’re a dumbass look. “He’s a Mutter. They don’t play around with their women. They have their faults just like the rest of us, but they only date when it’s serious. It’s not who they are.”
I drop my hands into my face and fight back a scream. “Why do you have to use logic on me? You know I hate that.”
“Because I love you and I want you to be happy.” She laughs. Then she turns to face me and all humor is gone. “Listen to me and listen real hard. You don’t have to fight everything and everyone. Things have been tough for you for so long. I think you’ve forgotten how to accept something good in your life. Chase is good. And it’s okay to like him. Let him in and tell him how you feel.”
“Arg,” I growl out my frustration. “Why is this so hard for me? What do I even say?”
“Try sorry, I was an ass. This is new for me. Please be patient. Oh, and I like you. Like really, really like you.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Because it is easy.” She gathers up the remaining labels before she points a finger at me. “You’re the one making this hard. You need to get out of your own head and let those feelings flow out of you for a change. Keeping everything bottled up inside you is toxic.”
“I don’t keep everything bottled up inside me.” I insist.
She stares at me like she thinks I’m an idiot. Probably because I am.
“Okay, fine.” I toss my hands up in surrender. “You’re right. I need to let myself feel more often. And I’ll talk to Chase … Eventually.” I add at the end like an afterthought.
Because I know myself. I won’t talk to him right away. This is something I’ll have to prepare for and give way too much consideration before I finally broach the subject. But I will do it at some point. Hopefully before it’s too late and I screw up my chances with Chase.
Jayla lets out a long, tired sigh. “I know you will. Now walk with me. I need to put this stuff away and grab my purse. This shift is over.”
I nod and loop my arm through hers, hoping this means this conversation is over. “What are your plans for the rest of the evening?”
“Promised Lucy we’d watch a movie. Mom is making that caramel popcorn we love. Wanna join us?”
“Sure. That sounds like fun.”
“Great. Lucy loves it when you come over. She hasn’t stopped talking about the art skills she picked up from you. I can’t keep enough supplies on hand for her. I have piles and piles of paintings.”
For the first time all day, I have a genuine reason to smile. “I’m glad. And I can’t wait to see them.”
“Oh, and that reminds me.” Jayla opens an employee only door and waves me through ahead of her. “Any chance you can watch Lucy on Tuesdays for a while? Mom’s shift changed at the clinic, and she has to work until seven. I don’t get off until ten.”
“I have my knitting group on Tuesdays. As long as she doesn’t mind hanging out with us, it should be fine.”
“She’d love that. Knowing her, she’ll insist on learning to knit too and pick up another hobby she loves that I can’t afford.”
I laugh. “I should probably feel bad about that, but I don’t.”
“You should,” she says as we enter the employee break room. She unlocks her locker and grabs her purse. “Anyway, Mom can pick Lucy up from knitting night if you prefer.”
I wave her off. “I can drop her off at home once we’re done. I love spending time with her.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” She wraps her arm over my shoulder as we head out. “Now let’s go eat too much popcorn and watch cheesy age appropriate rom-coms with my little girl.”
Chapter 20
Mine to protect
Chase