Page 51 of With This Mask
His eyes darken with each statement.
I feel frozen as a statue.
“Alec must end up with Victoria,” William says, his words resolved. “End things with him within twenty-four hours. Or watch everyone suffer the consequences.”
He reaches across me and pushes my door open.
I can hardly breathe. Emotions bite the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. This asshole doesn’t get to see me cry.
“Have a good day, Miss Winters,” William dismisses me. “I know you’ll make the best decision for everyone.”
My movements are jerky and numb as I slide out of the car and climb to my feet. I’ve barely stepped away from the car before it pulls away from the curb, the door snapping closed at my heels.
The words hang in the air like smog, choking and impossible to escape. He drives off, leaving me standing there, alone with the weight of his ultimatum crushing me. A thousand scenarios play out in my head, each ending worse than the last. Break up with Alec and save our futures, or stay with him and watch our worlds crumble around us?
"Damn it," I whisper to myself, rubbing my arms as if I could wipe away the invisible fingerprints left by his coercion. How can feelings like this feel so right and yet be so damn complicated?
My heart is a jackhammer, pounding against my chest, echoing the turmoil that's twisting my guts. I can't lose Alec. But I can't let Mom lose her house either. I can’t let William shred everything Alec has worked so hard for.
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath, the word sharp and brittle. A breeze picks up, sending a shiver down my spine as I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold together the pieces of me that feel like they're about to shatter.
What the hell am I going to do?
chapter seventeen
I do my fucking due diligence. That’s what I start with.
It was an awkward conversation with Mom, trying to get the information of who carries her mortgage without coming right out and telling her why I need to know. But I get the information. And I find out that the Harding family does indeed own that bank. And then I dig into the resources the Vanderholt’s have. It does look to me like they would have the resources to make Alec’s project fall flat on its face.
Fuck.
I avoid Alec’s phone calls that night. I dodge him in the halls. I retreat into my tiny dorm room and spend the whole night lying in bed staring at the ceiling. William’s words echo through my brain, over and over.
Do Alec and I have any chance at lasting long term? We haven’t talked about the future, really. What comes after graduation? When we both take our paths and find our careers? What happens when he does in fact realize that I’m not exactly high class and he has still been raised as a rich boy his entire life, and is used to acting a certain way when in the spotlight?
Do we really have any shot at this being a forever thing?
How could it not affect him long term, when he learns that his father has tanked his new company because of me? How could he not eventually resent me because of it?
And how could I ever choose Alec and let my mother lose her home?
Finally, around three in the morning, the tears burn my eyes, and free-fall into my pillow.
My eyes are bloodshot and puffy when I go to school in the morning. When I walk through the doors, I find Alec waiting for me with a worried look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, cupping a hand to my face. “You look like you’ve been up all night.”
“I have been,” I admit, fighting back tears at his gentle touch. But I lean into it, telling myself to relish every last touch, knowing I’m about to lose them forever. “Can I come over tonight? We need to talk.”
Alec freezes at those four words. Nothing good has ever happened in a relationship with those four words spoken. “What’s going on?” he demands, his face losing its color.
I shake my head. I can’t do this right now. I won’t do this right now, in public. “I’ll see you tonight.”
And Alec looks white as a ghost as I turn and walk away to my first class.
The burnished gold of the late afternoon sun glints off the sleek, modern facade of Alec's apartment building as I push through the door. I ride the elevator to the fifth floor with my heart hammering a frantic beat against my ribs. The scent of polished wood and expensive cleaner that seems to permeate every inch of the place does nothing to calm my nerves. As the doors slide open, I take a deep breath, attempting to steel myself for what's to come.
Each step to his door feels heavier than the last, my sneakers silent on the plush carpet. When I finally reach his apartment, I raise my hand to knock but pause, my knuckles hovering inches from the dark wood. I can't help thinking about how this is going to be the last time I stand here. Some of my very best memories were created in this apartment. I discovered so much about myself within these walls. I found someone who became my other half here in the space.