Page 29 of Phoenix
“No, but I’ve borrowed a few bits from your wardrobe, Louisa, I hope that’s ok?” I ask, ignoring my nerves because I also want to break out of the stifling atmosphere that has just descended upon us.
“Oh, course, I can’t even remember what I left behind,” Louisa says quickly, however, Warren is already getting out of his chair and excusing himself to go to the bathroom, looking sulky and generally pissed-off. I can’t think what I said to warrant such a reaction from him. “Hey, Daniel, why don’t you talk to Jess, and I’ll go and see what my grumpy ass brother is getting in the shits about.”
“Did I say something wrong?” I ask in a rush, desperately worrying that I might have upset the one guy I feel safe with.
“Not at all, Jess, Phoenix is just…well, Phoenix. He has man issues and sometimes he needs reminding of this. Stay with Daniel, he can tell you about his latest headache of a client.”
I watch her walk away while Daniel asks if I want any more coffee to which I smile politely and shake my head. He looks at me with a soothing expression, one that puts me at ease in his company.
Phoenix
“Louisa,” I mumble to her reflection in the bathroom mirror, “this isn’t a unisex bathroom. Just so you know.”
“Yes, the smell gave it away.”
She grins at me, holding the door open and gesturing for me to follow her outside. It occurs to me that marriage seems to give some people the impression they are now in the driving seat, but she’s still my baby sister, no matter who her husband is and how smugly happy she looks. Still, I shake my hands off, take my time to dry them, and huffily exit with her. Instead of turning right into the main dining area, we exit via the back door where a rickety pair of chairs for the staff sit in front of a dirty white-wash wall. I could make a song and dance over her trying to boss me around with that superior look on her face, but I guess I can let her have this one. Lord knows I’ve led her through this dance many a time in our past.
“You know I’m loving this at the moment,” she begins, and I can’t help but laugh a little. “Me playing the adult and you having to listen to my much-needed advice. But I’ll try not to be too smug about it.”
“Too late for that, Lou,” I mutter as I lean over my knees with a loud sigh, “but go on, give it to me.”
“You know us, Phoenix, we don’t beat about the bush, we simply don’t have the patience for it. I’m gonna ask you some questions and you’re gonna answer them truthfully and without any bullshit.” I nod along because she’s right, I’m not one to fluff around business. “Do you like Jess?”
“Yeess,” I reply with my eyes shut tight, hoping this action will somehow make the whole conversation easier to swallow.
“Has something already happened between you two?”
This time, I let out a steady breath and nod shamefully because I know it shouldn’t have. Jess was vulnerable and inexperienced, and instead of respecting that, I gave into my urges.
“Wow, ok, like is it what I’m thinking happened happened?” she asks with a little shock in her voice before turning it down to a whisper. “As in, you slept together?” Again, all I can do is nod, leaning further over my knees with my head hanging low. “In my bed?!”
‘I wish,’ I think as I shake my head.
“In her bed…in her room…in her house, back in…”
She gasps, sounding horrified, to which I nod while bracing myself for her reaction.
“Wait, that would mean…Phoenix, you didn’t?!”
Yes, on the night I was sent to kill her, I took her virginity instead.
“Look, I already feel shit about it, so I don’t need my baby sister casting all her judgment on me,” I snap, still not being able to look her in the eye, even though I can feel her scowling at me. “It was a moment of weakness. It was like a need to be close to someone, for both of us.”
“Wow,” she says, and I finally brave it to sit back up and face her head on. “You got it bad, big bro.”
“I have?” I ask, shocked over the words she chose to use.
“’Fraid so, I can see it in your face and everything. A sister just knows. That and the fact you just had a hissy fit over the mention of Jake, who she is obviously close to. But seriously, Phoenix, you have nothing to worry about in that department. I think you suggesting that there is would be the same as Daniel accusing us of having a thing for one another, which is beyond gross.”
“Yeah, well, you haven’t seen how different Jake is around her,” I argue like a petulant kid, “it’s beyond weird. He normally has the maturity of a pre-schooler, but whenever he’s around her, he seems almost jealous.”
“Lord!” she groans, rolling her eyes at me. “Phoenix, I’m sure Daniel could have said the same about you when he started showing interest. They went through something really horrible and had to rely on each other. Jake took the same role you did with me after Mom. It’s no different and it doesn’t mean he wants her romantically. Besides, you big idiot, it was in part, his idea to push you two together.”
“So why is he being such an ass?” I throw back.
“Because it’s still hard to watch some guy come in and take over where he left off,” she explains, making sense when I’m not entirely sure I want her to; it’s easier to suspect people, even Jake. “To trust her to someone else and let go. You of all people know what that feels like. Trust me, you were way worse!”
“Was not!” I grumble, even though we both know I’m talking bullshit.