Page 107 of Beautiful Chaos
After releasing a breath, she was holding she spoke. “When I was a little girl, I had a big imagination. It was my imagination that kept me sane most of the time. When my parents were locking me in my room sometimes for days, I would pretend I was Rapunzel locked in a tall castle awaiting my knight to save me.” She let out a giggle, but the sound was empty.
“My parents never wanted me; my mom only kept me because she thought she could get money for me. She used to tell me that I was lucky that she didn’t abort me. I never understood how a mother could feel so much hate for her child. I remember being so young, starved for her love, I would draw her pictures and make her things from whatever I could find around the house. Later I’d find it crumpled on the floor or in the trash. When I got old enough, I taught myself to read, I found some old phonics tapes, they were in a box left by the previous tenants and that became my escape.” she said in a small shaky voice.
I pressed my lips to her shoulder and placed a kiss there. I had no idea what to say, but I let her keep going because there was something right about this moment. She needed this.
“When I was old enough to head out by myself, around ten or eleven, I was meant to be on my way to school, I was super hungry and could hear my stomach rumbling. So, I snuck off to the nearby bakery because I could always catch the scent of those pastries from my room. I was hoping to find something they were going to throw away. I was searching for anything to relieve the empty hunger pains. I walked through the wrong door. It was a bookstore; I was so small and short that the bookshelves towered me. I remember standing and looking to the top of one and bending my neck back so far that it hurt but I kept looking in amazement at all the possibilities that awaiting behind those covers all the unread stories,” She turned to look at me.
I hadn’t said a word. I was stewing at how awful her childhood must have been and any guilt I felt for giving the orders to take care of her parents disappeared the more she spoke. My eyes met hers and it shattered my heart to see the pain behind them.
“You don’t have to keep going baby. If you want to stop…” She cut me off rapidly shaking her head.
“No, I want to tell you. I want to share this with you Jasper.” Her display of trust in sharing her traumatic childhood memories with me filled my heart to the brim.
I fucking love this woman.
“Well, that day I never made it to school. The next day either. I spent all day in the middle of the bookstore reading, the owner got curious and started asking questions, so I had to stop going there. I was afraid I would get into trouble, but I never forgot how that store made me feel. To be surrounded by stories of love, mystery, and fairy tales. It was the most soothing feeling I had ever felt. When I came to this city for school, I stumbled across the help wanted sign at Old Man Frank’s bookstore. Walking in there just gave me a good vibe. I knew that was where I belonged. After he hired me on the spot, working there brought me so much peace, the most I was able to achieve by myself I mean, until you.” She whispered the last part and turned her body to face me. She lifted her hands to cup my face,
“Thank you, Jasper, for saving me. I didn’t know I needed you. You saved me.” Her voice cracked at the end and a single tear escaped her eye. I reached up, and with my thumb, I wiped the tear from her face. My mind was thoughtful of all the things I wanted to say, ways I needed to soothe her broken heart, damn it I wanted to take every bit of pain she had ever felt and replace them right at that moment. I opened my mouth and only two words escaped me.
“Marry Me?”
Chapter 75
HARPER
“Marry me?”
A gasp escaped my lips as the words sunk in. Jasper asked me to marry him. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. I stared into his eyes, waiting for him to say he was joking or for him to take it back but all I saw was hope, and as the moments passed a little bit of panic in them.
Was he serious? Why did he want to marry me? I’m broken.
“Jasper,” I whispered tears falling down my cheeks suddenly overwhelmed with emotion I couldn’t explain.
“No, don’t talk just listen,” he demanded as he got up and grabbed his pants from the heap on the floor. He reached into one of the pockets and gripped something so tight his knuckles looked white against his olive skin.
He kneeled in front of the small bed and pulled me to a sitting position while I struggled to hold the sheet up to cover my breasts. He pulled both of my hands into one of his as he yanked the sheet away from my body.
“Don’t hide from me Doll. this,” he raised his hand waving it in front of him gesturing towards my flushed naked body, “Is beautiful. You’re a goddess, My goddess.”
He popped open the little box in his hand and there was this stunning emerald, with perfect diamonds all around it, sitting on a band of white gold. It was stunning. my breath hitched when he removed the ring from its velvet case and slipped it on my finger.
It was a perfect fit.
I glanced at my hand and saw this stunning ring – seriously, the prettiest one I’d ever seen. The stone was the same color as the gem on the wings of my guardian angel pin. The one I had attached to my satchel the night Jasper saved me from that lunatic outside the lounge.
I‘ve never told him, but that pin means a lot. I found it covered in dirt the day I escaped my captors. It was lying there buried, the only visible part was the stone that sat on the wing, a small emerald gem. I stumbled upon this beautiful thing among the trash on the path and thought it deserved to be picked up and treasured. I carried that thing around with me everywhere I went. It served as a reminder of my strength, and only now did I realize that I stopped needing its comfort since Jasper had come into my life.
I looked up to see Jasper watching me with eager eyes, while I admired my hand with his ring on it.
“Harper, until you I had no desire to ever marry. I didn’t want anything that would cause me to show weakness, to force vulnerability. It’s not something that has come easily to me. I have always seen love as a joke. something unattainable, especially for a man like me. When you walked into my life, your fire, your strength your tenacity woke something deep inside my heart that I had buried with hate and disdain all these years. Your light has shown through all my darkness, and I can’t even imagine a life without you in it now. I want to be your salvation just as you are mine, please don’t say no. If you need time, I’ll give it to you but if the answer isn’t yes, I don’t think I could handle it. I need you in my life forever.”
He looked down at my hand and then back up meeting my gaze. Such raw emotion written in just one look.
I felt the slight tug of my lips as a smile formed. I couldn’t believe that this was happening, I couldn’t believe he wanted to marry me. I was even more shocked that I wanted to accept his proposal. I always felt unworthy of anything like this. I thought I was going to live my life forever in the shadows, afraid to be loved, but Jasper has changed all of that for me. Jasper has shown me that despite my flaws and imperfections, I am worthy, and he shows me that every day.
“Jasper Whitlock, I will marry you, on one condition.” A look of relief washed over his face, which was quickly replaced by curiosity, he nodded his head in agreement.
“Anything Doll, it’s yours.” He responded without any hesitation.