Page 13 of Say You Will

May 31, 2018

Ace

Whatever Dare’s secret was, it was putting a significant strain on our relationship. I hated lies and lying by omission, and this felt like the biggest omission of them all. What could be so good it had to be kept a secret from me?

How many times had I asked only to be told not to worry, it’s nothing bad, it’s a good thing? How many nights had I sat on the couch watching the game, Dare beside me, but his focus far, far away?

I’d even invaded his privacy, hating myself every second I’d done it, sneaking a peek at his phone while he was in the shower. Sure, I chalked it up to protecting him, but I knew I shouldn’t have done it. Then I felt lousy at my inability to trust him because he forced me to do it by withholding whatever was going on.

What was worse was I thought my friends knew the truth and were also deliberately keeping it from me. A couple of times, I’d seen Jake or Terry whisper in Dare’s ear and my boyfriend would nod or shake his head. Once or twice, Finn would show Dare something on his phone, but then tell me it was nothing. I think they were throwing me a bone when Jake mentioned they planning a Summer Solstice Party at the bar, which just happened to be on my birthday.

At one point, my nerves got the best of me that when I realized my mother barely called me anymore. I questioned her involvement since I usually spoke with her several times a week, but when asked, she’d replied they’d just been busy with their snowbird friends returning home. Additionally, with summer approaching, the community they lived in had resumed their outdoor activities, taking up their time and energy: bowling, bocce, mahjong, golf, cards. My parents were busy beavers, so I doubted her silence meant she was in on the secret. I still asked if she knew, but she denied knowing anything.

My birthday was a mere three weeks away, and I’d been hoping to celebrate together. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to if he’d only be distracted by “the secret.” The Sox were playing in Houston late tonight, so I took matters into my own hands and planned a date night, hoping he’d loosen up and tell me.

Pulling up to Haven’s valet service, Dare looked over at me from the passenger seat with an ear-to-ear smile, his eyes wide and incredulous. “We’re going dancing?”

“We are.” Dare loved to dance, and I could usually be convinced with a few drinks in me. This night I hoped to get him tipsy enough to confide in me while keeping myself sober for the drive home.

Deep, bass thumping assaulted our ears from the moment the valets opened our doors. I came around the back of the car and slipped my arm around Dare’s waist. There was a line waiting to get in, but I steered Dare to the podium and gave my name. The host found my name and checked me off.

“How?” Dare said loudly in my ear as we entered.

“I texted Theo; asked if he could get us on the list.”

“Theo, of course. He’s a good friend.” Dare shifted closer as we approached the bar. We could see our friend’s blond head over the patrons and staff. He waved when he spotted them, then pointed out some space on the far side. “Let’s go say hi.” Dare dragged me along behind him. When Dare reached the bar, he motioned for Theo to lean over and he whispered something in Theo’s ear. Theo nodded then reached past him to shake my hand.

“Aaron, a pleasure to see you again. I’m glad you texted. It’s not often I can help out my friends.”

Somehow, I felt that was an understatement, but I didn’t feel like I could call him out on it. “It was very much appreciated, especially when I saw the line outside to get in.”

Theo laughed. “Don’t you know, Thursdays are the new Friday? Friday and Saturday they’d barely have a chance to get in at all unless they reserved a solid month in advance. However, there are perks to being me, but don’t tell the big guy I said that.”

“The big guy?” Dare asked.

Theo pointed to the ceiling. Whether he meant his boss or God would never be known since Theo quickly asked what we wanted to drink. We ordered and he waved off my cash. “Benies,” he said and walked away.

I peered at Dare. “Did he just say benies, like benefits? This must be a seriously good job for him.”

Dare shrugged. “I’ve come to learn that Theo is a man of many talents.”

“If you say so. Let’s drink and then you can dance.”

“Don’t you mean we?” Dare shuffled closer, rubbing his groin against my hip. He downed his cocktail quickly while I sipped my beer. I let him edge me onto the dance floor where all I had to do was keep a hand on his waist while he gyrated to the beat.

I was halfway through my beer when Theo wandered over with a fresh glass for me and another cocktail for Dare. Again, he waved off my offer of cash. Even odder than the non-payment was him wishing me luck when he disappeared into the crowd.

Dare practically inhaled his second drink, and I could feel when it hit, his body loosening, his movements smoother, more languid. He laughed loudly and sang even louder. Dare put his arms around my neck and kissed me in front of dozens of people, grinding against me without a care in the world.

“There’s the carefree guy I love so much,” I said, stepping in closer as the song changed to a slower one. I held him lightly, happy to see him more relaxed than he’d been over the last two months. “I missed this—missed you.”

Dare hugged me. “I know I’ve been a mess. A couple more weeks and I’ll be able to tell you.”

I pulled back to look him in the eyes, gripping his hips to hold him still. “You promise? Because I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. There are nights I feel like walking, but it’s my house. No, it’s our house, but lately, it hasn’t felt like that.”

Dare cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing across my lips. “I swear. Three more weeks, then I can tell you.” He kissed me again, a series of sweet touches that conveyed his love for me.

Three weeks? That was oddly specific. Then realization hit. Oh, damn. My birthday is in three weeks. All the secrecy made a lot more sense if it was something for me. What made no sense was that Dare knew I hated secrets, even if it was something for my birthday. However, with at least a small inkling that whatever the secret was wouldn’t be anything bad, I could finally let go of my anger and anxiety, hold my man close, and let the rest of the night play out how it would.