Page 126 of See You Again
Irene relaxed slightly. “Yes, that’s a wonderful idea.”
Cami’s chest tightened. What was he thinking? This was a part of her life that no one except Madison knew about. And even Madison had never met her mother.
“How long has your mom been struggling?” James asked, when they were settled in his car. He reached over to turn on the heated seats before slipping her fingers between his, resting them on her thigh.
“It wasn’t always like this.” Cami dragged in a breath. “It started to go downhill after my dad left, but it’s gotten much worse in recent years.”
“Your dad left when you were in junior high?”
Cami pulled her lower lip in.
“That must have been tough on you. Do you have any other family who can help?”
“I have cousins, but something happened between my mom and her brother when I was in elementary school, and they cut off contact.” Now that Cami thought about it, how many relationships had she lost because of her mother’s mental illness?
She leaned her head back against the headrest with a sigh.
“Is that why you didn’t go home on weekends?”
Her throat clogged with tears again. The last thing she wanted from him was pity.
His thumb stroked over the top of her knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m handling it.” Cami tried to pull free, but his long fingers didn’t let go.
“I’m sure that’s true. But I’m sorry all the same.”
Her lip trembled. “Thank you for coming to get me tonight. I promise, today aside, I don’t usually require this much hand holding.”
“Good thing I like holding your hand.” He squeezed her fingertips, and Cami felt some of her muscles finally begin to relax.
“I know it sounds terrible, but I’ve never wanted anyone to know. It’s embarrassing. What kind of daughter am I? She’s unwell… And I’m embarrassed. Fantastic therapist I’ve turned out to be.” She huffed a watery laugh.
“There’s no doubt in my mind you’ve done everything you could to help her.”
“It’s not enough, though, is it?” Cami bit her tongue hard as angry tears welled. “My training tells me it’s not her fault. She can’t help it. She’s suffering… But god I hate it! I hate it! I hate that I have to worry about her. Wonder if she’s okay or if she’s going to have an episode. She had a bad one today, and I resented the fact that I had to leave work to take care of her. She’s my mother!
“Normally, I can handle it. I think it’s just… with everything else in my life… Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. It’s never going to be enough. We are coming to the point I might have to force her into in-patient care. It feels like I’m over my head, I can’t…”
James lifted their joined hands to his mouth “You are not a terrible daughter. You are human, and this is too much for one person to handle on their own.” He turned his head to glance at her before returning to the road. “You aren’t alone, Cami. We will figure it out.”
Her heart squeezed, and she worried she was going to completely lose it if he kept saying sweet things. “Can we not talk about this anymore? It’s too much right now.”
He nodded, and they rode in silence back to the hotel. James didn’t relinquish her hand until they were out of the car, and even then, he rounded the car quickly to reclaim it, silently offering the comfort she hadn’t realized she so desperately needed.
“Oh my god!” Cami exclaimed when the lobby lights illuminated the mascara stains all over the front of his dress shirt. “I’m so sorry. I’ll buy you a new one.”
“Don’t worry about it. When we get upstairs, you go get cleaned up, and I’ll reheat our dinner.”
She lifted a hand to her face. “I must look like a disaster!” Cami glanced in one of the mirrors hanging on the wall opposite the elevator bank and instantly burst into laughter at the sight of the black makeup smeared around her eyes.
“I look like one of those harlequin mimes with the black diamond paint.” Cami shook her head, still laughing at herself, when she noticed James staring at her, frozen in place, an odd look on his face.
“James?”
He blinked at her a few times, and then wordlessly pushed the button for his floor.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO