Page 45 of Inevitable

Bas gave a slight shake of his head.

“I don’t fit anymore,” he said in a low voice.

Ezra turned to face him.

“What does that mean?”

Bas rubbed his palm over his face before he put his arm underneath his head.

“That night, when I came home late… I haven’t seen Drew that relaxed in ages. The way he was smiling and laughing and looking at you…”

“You make him smile all the time,” Ezra interrupted.

Bas was shaking his head even before Ezra was finished talking.

“I give him temporary smiles. Sooner or later we just end up fighting. That’s all we seem to be doing lately.”

“So you’ve decided to just… What? Stay away? How is that supposed to help?”

“No.” Bas was on his feet in practically an instant. He glared at Ezra before he started pacing. “I can’t have this conversation with you.”

Ezra tried to swallow down the bolt of disappointment. This was what he’d always known would happen. And it made sense. Whatever was on Bas’s mind was between him and Drew because at the end of the day, it was the two of them against the world, and Ezra… he was inconsequential.

“You should call Drew, then. He can probably be here in no time at all.” Ezra had to fight to make his tone neutral, not to let the hurt show. This was not about him and that tiny spark of hope in his chest that was dying a swift death as they spoke.

He should have been glad. This was clearly jealousy. Bas wanted Drew. If Ezra’s presence was what made him pull his head out of his ass, then it was worth it. In the end, the hows or whys didn’t matter. Maybe all Drew needed was for Bas to give the two of them a chance and they’d figure it all out? It was how it was supposed to be.

Bas made a face.

“I can’t call Drew.”

Ezra frowned.

“Then what? What do you want?”

“I want… I want things to go back to normal.” Bas stopped moving and crossed his arms on his chest, stuffing his hands underneath his armpits.

Ezra swallowed hard. Well, that was it, then. He’d gotten careless. He’d somehow started treating their temporary arrangement as if it was something permanent, and now he was paying the price. That was on him, and he’d be damned if he let anybody feel sorry for him.

He straightened his shoulders and nodded. He grabbed his boots and dropped down on the couch, putting them on.

“Okay.” It was a relief to realize that his voice sounded even. “That’s fine. Reasonable.” He stood up and rubbed his hands over the sides of his jeans. “Guests and fish, right?” he said.

He moved toward the door as if in a dream, ears ringing from both humiliation and regret. He stopped for a second. Didn’t turn around. Didn’t think he could face Bas right that moment.

“I can be gone by tonight. Just give me a few hours, okay?”

He wasn’t going to wait to see if Bas had anything to contribute. He pulled the door open, but just as he did that, strong arms wrapped around his waist, and he found himself trapped against Bas. The man pressed his forehead against the back of Ezra’s neck and inhaled.

“What are you doing?” Ezra asked.

If this was some kind of a last goodbye hug, he would have really preferred not to do those.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bas mumbled against Ezra’s neck. His warm breath wafted over Ezra’s skin. Goose bumps were dancing all over his body. He’d never been quite this close to Bas, and it was driving his mind and his body into a frenzy. He wanted to press closer. He wanted to get as far away as possible.

“You said you wanted things to go back to normal,” Ezra reminded Bas, desperately trying to keep his voice from breaking. “I’m not part of the normal.”

Bas’s breaths were short and shallow. His arms tightened. Ezra got the feeling a battle was being fought inside Bas.