Page 73 of Won't Back Down
“Thanks, girl. Let’s schedule a play date for Keeley and Roy.”
“It’s a promise.”
Then she, too, was gone, and I was alone with my husband for the first time in days. He pulled me into his arms, and I settled against his chest, content to just stay there.
“I know that was hard for you, telling everybody about what happened. How’re you doing?”
“I don’t know. Maybe there’s a part of me that’s relieved not to be hiding anymore. But if something did happen back then, if I did see something… I just can’t remember. And I’m afraid of what might happen if I push too hard.”
“Okay. Then we won’t push.”
I looked up at him. “That’s it?”
He stroked my cheek. “Wren, I only ever want to help. If you’re not ready now—hell, even if you’re never ready—that’s your decision. You’ve been living with this longer than the rest of us. You know what you can handle. So, yeah. That’s it.”
“Thank you.” I snuggled against him. “I’m sorry I scared you last night.”
He drew in a slow breath. “I’ll admit, you might’ve taken a few years off my life.”
I stilled, listening to his heart thump beneath my ear. “Do you regret tying yourself to me?”
Sawyer tipped my chin up, so I had to look at him. “No. I love you, Willa. I signed on for better or worse and everything in between.” The corner of his mouth curved. “And if you’re really feeling better, we can pick back up on some of those plans your brother’s arrival interrupted.”
The worry that had lodged beneath my breastbone released. “I do seem to recall discussion of time in that big ass tub.”
He scooped me up, one arm beneath my knees. “I didn’t carry you over the threshold our first night here. Why don’t I rectify that situation?”
“Why don’t you?”
CHAPTER 32
SAWYER
“Are you sure you don’t mind me leaving you on your own tonight?”
I skimmed my hands down Willa’s arms, stopping to clasp both her hands. “I’ll be absolutely fine. You go and have fun. And if Bree gets a little too free with the bartender pour, call me. I’ll come get you.”
My wife rose to her toes and gave me a lingering kiss that stirred a whole host of other ideas for the evening. But I knew she needed time with her friends. It was more of the normal she so desperately wanted. So I kept my suggestions to myself as she stepped back.
“Love you.”
That would never get old. “I love you, too. Drive safe.”
She hefted the canvas bag of snacks. “C’mon, Roy.”
The big dog happily followed her out the kitchen door.
Then I was alone in the big house that suddenly felt far too empty. I hadn’t been here on my own before. Since I’d come back to Hatterwick, Willa and I had been joined at the hip. I was gradually getting accustomed to the idea that this was my home now, but being here without her felt strange.
It had been two weeks since her panic attack. She’d wanted to get back to normal, and I’d done everything I could to foster that. There’d been no more attacks, no nightmares, no headaches. If I hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen, I wouldn’t have known she’d been struggling. She’d gotten back to her grant writing and even begun attending committee meetings for the upcoming Founders’ Day celebration. Her capacity for compartmentalizing was impressive, though I wondered if it was really healthy.
There’d been no further word on who our dead guy was. If the investigation had turned up anything, Carson wasn’t sharing. I had to acknowledge that we might never get answers about who it was or what had happened. That uncertainty stuck in my craw and made me restless. If I was honest, that wasn’t the only reason. What Jace had said about Willa’s reactions not looking like normal trauma had been circling my brain since he’d left. He hadn’t spelled out what he meant, and we hadn’t had time to discuss it before he’d been forced to return to duty, but that hadn’t stopped my own speculation. It didn’t take me anywhere good.
Prowling into the kitchen, I grabbed a root beer from the fridge and carried it out to the back deck. What the hell was I going to do with myself tonight? I’d updated my resume already and sent out a handful. The storm damage around the house had been repaired. I’d even picked up a handful of other repair jobs around town from folks who’d had damage and didn’t need or want to wait on the bigger contractors. A few more were lined up over the next couple of weeks. I didn’t mind construction work. Seeing visible results of my labor was satisfying, and I enjoyed working with my hands, feeling useful. It was a good distraction from everything else.
I missed my brothers. It was odd being back on Hatterwick without them. Having Willa in my life as my wife, my partner, my focus, was great. But it wasn’t the same.
I considered texting Hoyt to see if he wanted to do something, but if he wasn’t on duty at the fire station, he’d no doubt be home with his family. I didn’t want to take him away from his pregnant wife.