Page 79 of Won't Back Down
Wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts, I nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Gabi squeezed me in a hug. “I know this is hard for you, and I’m proud you’re being brave. But remember to be kind to yourself. If it doesn’t go how you want, we can try something else.”
“Thanks.” I really hoped we didn’t have to try something else. I hoped that coming at the trigger so directly would pop open my faulty memory like a key in a lock. That was probably far too simplistic an aspiration, but I held onto it, nonetheless.
“I’ll meet y’all out there.”
Sawyer waited until Gabi had gotten into her car and headed down the drive to pull me in. “I’m gonna be right there the whole time. If you want to pull the plug at any point, you say so. You’ll get no arguments from any of us.”
I leaned into him, soaking in his warmth and strength. “I want to think I wouldn’t pull the plug. That I’ll be strong enough to face whatever needs facing. For Gwen, for myself, I’m going to try. And I need you to let me, even if it gets hard. No matter how I react, whatever happened… already happened. It can’t truly hurt me anymore. I might not remember that in the moment, so I need you to.”
“I suspect it’s gonna be a rough night for us both.”
“It’ll be better because you’re with me. I love you, Sawyer.”
“I love you, too, Wren. Let’s do this thing.”
We piled into his truck for the drive down the west side of the island, to where that night had begun. I made the concession of riding up front with him instead of behind the seat under a blanket. Instead, Roy was in the back seat, buckled into his seatbelt, tongue lolling in excitement over going for a ride.
The house I’d grown up in had been sold years ago, my parents cutting any ties to the island other than my grandparents. After some storm damage, the new owners had expanded the porch and changed the color to a pink that bore a little too much resemblance to flamingos for my taste. But I could still see the window I’d slipped out of and where the vine-covered trellis I’d climbed down had once been. Sawyer had been waiting two houses down, in that old rattle-trap truck of his, lights off. We paused there in the dying light of sunset.
“I always used to think of you as Rapunzel sneaking out of your tower,” he murmured.
My lips curved. “I confess, I kinda had some Romeo and Juliet fantasies going on, wishing you’d climb up the trellis to my room.”
“Not sure it would have held me, even back then. And I’m damned sure Jace wouldn’t have been as supportive then as he is now.”
“My fantasies about you were a lot more chaste back then.”
He cut me a glance. “Are you having delightfully sexy thoughts about me, wife?”
I tangled my fingers with his. “Let’s just say that I might have a few roleplay scenarios in mind for after we get through all this.”
“Something to look forward to.” Pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, he pulled away from the curb.
From there, the drive to Osprey Beach only took about fifteen minutes. He drove the same route he had that night, weaving through residential streets that gave way to the trees, past the park and beyond to the crushed-shell back road that wound its way to the Atlantic side of Hatterwick. He parked beneath the same trees, though the area was more overgrown than it had been then. We slipped out of the truck into the hush of greenery, but even from here, the ocean called. I curled my hand around his, and we followed, Roy dashing a few feet ahead.
It felt different approaching this together. As we walked, I scanned the beach, remembering. “There were so many people here that night. It seemed like more than all of Sutter’s Ferry High.”
“It probably was. There were already summer people on-island at that point. You didn’t go through the crowd.”
“No, I edged around them.” Too overwhelmed to dive straight into the deep end, cutting through the crowd.
We followed the skirting path I’d taken.
“I thought for sure you’d decide you wanted to go in ten minutes.”
“I considered it. Then I found Gabi and Gwen and made friends with the dog. Looking back, I don’t even know whose dog it was. I didn’t recognize her.”
“She looked a lot like Keeley. Some kind of shepherd mix.”
As if we’d summoned her, Keeley spotted Roy from across the beach and made a beeline in our direction. Roy whined and danced, looking back at me for permission.
“Go see your buddy.”
With a joyful bark, he took off, a streak of black in the darkening night. Sawyer and I continued at a more sedate pace toward the waiting fire. It was much smaller than the one from back then, but it still gave the ambiance. Daniel, Gabi, and Bree waited at a nearby picnic table. Low strains of music carried on the breeze.
“Doing okay?” Sawyer asked.