Page 46 of Say You'll Stay
There, just a short distance away, I spot the Uber, and I practically sprint to it, throwing myself into the passenger seat.
“Go, go, go,” I plead, my voice trembling.
The driver nods, pulling away from the curb as I sink into the worn leather seat, my heart still racing. I’m out, I’m safe, but the weight of what’s happened, of June’s betrayal, threatens to crush me.
Tears spill down my cheeks as the city lights blur past, and I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces of my shattered composure together. I feel so alone, so violated in the one place I should have felt secure.
But I can’t go back, I won’t. The thought of facing June again, of having to confront the truth of his actions, is more than I can bear right now.
The rumble of the plane’s engines reverberates through the cabin, a steady pulse that does little to calm the chaos of my life. I take a deep, steadying breath, but it fails to soothe the turmoil coursing through me.
Glancing out the window, I watch the city lights shrink into the distance, a physical representation of the emotional gulf that now separates us. Part of me longs to look back, to see if June is standing there, watching as I flee.
But I resist the urge, to want him…to indulge in a sick fantasy that someone could love me this much and still be sane—or even, good for me. I have to let go, to move on, even if every fiber of my being aches to turn back.
So I’ll go forward, grow through this pain and go where I know I’ll be safe.
Safe where my family is, where my longtime refuge awaits - the thought of returning there, of immersing myself in the familiar comfort of home, is the only thing keeping me grounded in this moment.
Home to Accel City.
Thr bustling metropolis that’s been my playground with June, beckons in the distance, its towering skyscrapers a beacon of hope in the inky night.
As the plane climbs higher, the turbulence jostling my nerves, I can feel the adrenaline slowly ebbing from my system.
Exhaustion seeps into my bones, the weight of the day’s events finally catching up to me. I sink deeper into the seat, grateful for the relative solitude of my window row.
My mind races, replaying every moment, every detail of June’s reappearance. The cool distance in his voice, the careful way he chose his words - it all speaks to a level of premeditation that chills me to the core.
He knew where I was, how to find me. The implications are enough to send a fresh wave of nausea rolling through my stomach.
How long has he been following me?
Is he behind the letters, the black cars trailing me…but why would he warn me away to follow me around like some exotic animal in his free range zoo.
The thought makes my skin crawl, it feels like a violation, and I can’t seem to shake the idea that he was behind the scenes pulling the strings of my life…like I was his twisted little contortionist.
To use a prey, just to bend and break me at his will.
I wrap my arms around myself, as if I can physically hold the pieces of my shattered sense of security together.
June is my best friend…or was he just obsessed with me. Poor little Cara.
First generation American borne to an illegal Italian girl desperate for shelter, and the good Nigerian doctor who married her for the money.
Will I ever feel safe again?
The question lingers, a heavy, ominous weight that threatens to drag me under. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears that threaten to fall to hold back just a little while longer.
I need space, air… I need my sister.
The moment I step through the door, a sob tears through my body, ripping away the last shreds of my composure.
“Sonya!” I cry out, my voice raw and desperate, echoing through the house like a wounded animal. “Sonya, where are you?”
But it’s not my baby sister’s face that appears in the doorway. It’s Mama, her eyes wide with alarm, her hands already outstretched to catch me as I crumble.
“Cara, baby, what’s wrong?” she asks, her voice laced with worry as she pulls me into her arms. But I can’t answer, can’t find the words to express the chaos that’s raging inside me.