Page 45 of Say You'll Stay
His voice is strained, raw with emotion, and something in the way he holds me makes me pause, the sharp edges of my suspicion softening ever so slightly.
“How did you find me, June?” I ask, the words muffled against his chest.
He sits up, running a hand through his tousled hair. “Can’t I just miss my Cara Mia?” His thumb strokes my hand gently. “And, you just texted me some vague response about being busy. I couldn’t bear the thought of being apart any longer.”
I shake my head, frustration bubbling up inside me. “That’s not what I asked. How did you know where I was staying?”
He exhales, the sound shaky and vulnerable in the still room. “I’m a Deveaux, Cara. I have resources, connections. It wasn’t difficult for me to find out where you were.”
June pauses, his thumb continuing its soothing motions. “But I didn’t come here to scare you or force anything. I just… I couldn’t stay away from you.”
His words, meant to reassure, only fuel the growing sense of unease in my stomach.
Resources.
Connections.
The implications make my skin crawl. Has he been having me followed? Watched? The thought is almost too much to bear.
I try to slip out of his arms; failing horribly, the sheets tangling around my legs like grasping hands. June also refusing to let go, his arms flex as he locks me in.
And panic seizes me in a nauseating grip.
“I’ll be right back,” I whisper, proud of how steady my voice sounds despite the tremor in my bones. “I’m just going to pee.”
“No, you can use my mouth as a toilet.” He moans, biting my ear as he continues. “Your thighs will keep my ears warm.”
“God alone knows, what kind of things you rich people are into,” I joke lamely. “But that’s not my kink. I’ll be back.”
I don’t wait for a response, practically sprinting to the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind me with a finality that does little to calm the rioting of my pulse. With shaking fingers, I fumble for my phone, tears blurring the screen as I type out a frantic message to Louis.
Emergency. Need to go home. Can you bring my stuff later? So sorry.
I hit send and sink to the cold tile floor, drawing my knees up to my chest as if I can physically hold myself together. The phone vibrates almost immediately, Louis’ concerned reply glowing in the dimness.
Of course. You okay? Need me there now?
I hesitate, my thumbs hovering over the keys. Louis has been my rock, my safe harbor in the storm. But this is a tempest I need to weather on my own.
I’m okay. Just need to get to family. Talk soon. And thank you.
Wiping angrily at the tears streaking down my cheeks, I force myself to stand on shaky legs. The four walls of this rental suddenly feel like a cage, closing in around me, and I can’t bear the thought of seeing June again.
The letters, the constant unease - it all makes a sickening kind of sense now. The urge to scream, to shatter the mirror and watch the shards rain down like glittering tears, is almost overwhelming.
But I can’t break, not now, not here. I have to get out, have to put distance between me and the man who may not be who I thought he was. The man I’ve loved with every fractured piece of my heart.
I splash cold water on my face, the shock of it grounding me in the present. Squaring my shoulders, I open the door, steeling myself for what waits on the other side.
Panic grips me again, a nauseating wave of fear and disorientation. I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t stay here, I have to get out, get somewhere safe.
Carefully, I open the bathroom door, peering out into the bedroom. June is sprawled face-down on the bed, unmoving. I hold my breath, watching for any sign that he’s aware of my movements.
Satisfied that he’s oblivious, I quietly slip out of the bathroom, tiptoeing towards the door. My gaze falls on the side table, where my purse sits. Without a second thought, I snatch it up, the weight of it in my hand a small comfort.
As I reach for the doorknob, a floorboard creaks beneath my feet, and I freeze, my heart pounding. June stirs, letting out a muffled groan, and I hold my breath, praying he doesn’t wake.
After what feels like an eternity, he settles back into stillness, and I seize the opportunity, slipping out the door and closing it silently behind me. With a shaky exhale, I hurry down the stairs and out into the cool night air, scanning the street for the waiting car.