Page 83 of Capuleto
“We have enemies, but none so suicidal. The only mafia with enough power and balls to go against us is your boss’s.”
“Are you implying that…”
“I’m not implying. I’m stating what I know, and she is the only one who could have enough reasons to want to end the Capulet empire. She always wanted her piece of the pie.”
“Koroleva is not behind this.”
“That’s what you say. All I know is she was riding R’s bike, which wasn’t damaged. They diverted and arrived just as the others were blowing up. Coincidence or remote control? The person who did it had to be nearby.”
I slammed my beer down on the table and faced him.
“I’m telling you she didn’t do it; you are son of a bitch!” He looked at me, narrowing his eyes.
“And you know this because…?” he inquired with suspicion.
“Because I do.”
“What a crappy argument.”
“Our bike wasn’t affected either.”
“Maybe because your ass was on it.”
“Before, I wasn’t riding with you, remember? The bike of the guy I was with also blew up.”
“Maybe you matter less to your dear boss than you think.”
“Son of a bitch!” I shouted, wanting to strangle him.
“Watch your mouth…” he murmured, wiping away some sauce from the corner of my lip and bringing his thumb to his tongue. My fly tightened.
I pulled back as if burned. A sarcastic smile appeared on his face.
“Why do you defend her so much, besides because she pays you?”
I kicked a forgotten stone.
“She rescued me in my lowest moments,” I responded, unable to hide the shame it caused me.
“She rescued you?” I nodded and sat back down at the table to take a long swig from the bottle.
If Aleksa knew Koroleva as well as I did, he wouldn’t distrust her either. Maybe it was time for him to get to know her a bit better.
“It was some time after I left the army, when I was nothing more than a wreck full of regrets. I don’t even know why I was still alive; every day, I made an effort for some bastard to kill me. The problem was my shitty military instinct didn’t allow me to die under just anyone’s fists.”
“Why did you want to die?” His curiosity had shifted from my boss to me.
I had replayed that conversation on the plane a thousand times. I knew if I wanted to start fresh with Aleksa, he deserved to know what kind of man I was. When you ask someone to enter your hell, they first need to socialize with your demons.
“Because from the time he died until Koroleva came into my life, I had to forgive myself for living every day.”
“Who died?” he asked cautiously. I raised my eyes to meet his.
“The only man I’ve ever loved in my life.” The “until now” that should have finished the sentence got stuck in my throat. My throat turned into a desert as I submerged in the ocean of thirst that his eyes were.
“I had no idea.”
“You didn’t need to know. It’s not something I tell just anyone.” He averted his gaze and finished his sandwich with an offended air. Two sentences, two screw-ups, I was racking up points. “I didn’t mean you’re just anyone. I’m not good at these kinds of conversations; that’s why I prefer not to talk.”