Page 140 of Jesse's Girl
“Come on, let’s go find Marcus,” Renee says, moving to get up. Then she pauses, studying me more closely. “You sure you’re good?”
No.
I nod.
We head up the steps, picking our way across the gravel path. The crowd and music grow larger and louder as we approach and, when we pass a small seating area overlooking the cliffside, anxiety grips my stomach.
“You know what?” I blurt. “You go ahead. I’m gonna hang out here for a few minutes.” Staying away from the crowd feels safer right now.
Renee gives me another hug and leaves me to slump down onto one of the wrought-iron bistro chairs. I don’t know how long I sit there, staring into the darkness, but my mother’s voice eventually cuts through my thoughts.
“Ada! There you are!”
“Mom!” I say, snapping back to the present. “Hey.”
“You wouldn’t believe it,” she says. “I just ran into Roman Esposito.”
“Who?” I ask. I’ve never been able to keep up with Mom’s social life. Between all her church friends—the infamous Mrs. Nicolosi included—and now this Roman guy… she’s one of those people who seems to know everybody.
“Mr. Esposito? From church. Don’t you remember him?”
“Uh…” I start, searching my memory. “Wait—the bushy eyebrows guy?”
“Ada!” Mom scolds, looking over her shoulder. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. I think you know his grandson, Rolando.”
“Oh!” I say. “Yeah. Roly comes to the teen center.”
She nods and takes a seat in the chair on the other side of the tiny bistro table, smoothing some invisible wrinkle in her dress.
“He’s a good kid,” I say, not sure where this is going.
“Well, sounds like he’s been struggling in school for a while. But Roman was telling me you’ve really helped him. With his dyslexia.” She almost whispers the word.
Whoa. This was not what I was expecting.
I straighten. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Apparently, this is the first year he’s been getting his homework done.” Mom throws me a cautious glance. “Roman told me he made some kind of arrangement with his teachers to get the instructions audio recorded.”
“Did he really?” I ask. Smart kid.
“Listens on his phone or something, I guess.” She makes a dismissive gesture. “I don’t know how it works. But in any case, Roman kept singing your praises. He thinks it was talking with you about it that made the difference. Helped him take some ownership. Bring up his grades. Made him feel less… alone.”
“Seriously? I had no idea.” For the first time tonight, my chest feels something other than heavy.
She stares at her hands in her lap. “Ada, I think I owe you an apology. I haven’t given you a fair shake, honey. To do your own thing. I guess I’ve… I’ve had this picture of what success looks like for you in my head, and I haven’t let you do things your way. The way you want to…” She lifts her gaze. “Or the way, I guess, you might need to.”
My brows draw together. I don’t know what to say.
“Your dad and I, we weren’t allowed to find our own paths. It was just understood that we’d get a degree and a good job. No discussion. Our parents wouldn’t even entertain the idea that college wasn’t right for us. Not after everything they sacrificed.”
“I know.” I can only imagine the pressure my mother faced with Nonna and Nonno’s expectations looming large.
“But,” she continues, “you’ve always marched to your own drumbeat. I just haven’t been ready—haven’t been listening…” She trails off, visibly struggling to keep her emotions in check. Her brows pinch together. “I’m so sorry. I’ll try harder—to respect that you know yourself best. And I’ll stop harping on about college. I just want you to be happy. We’ve been arguing so much lately, and that’s my fault.”
“Mom…” I inhale an unsteady breath.
“Anyway, what Roman said, it made me realize… You’re putting good into the world,” Mom says, tears welling in her eyes. She reaches across the small table and squeezes my hand. “That’s what counts. If you can pay the bills and you like what you do, I have no right to criticize that. Even if it’s not the way I was raised. Or the way I’d do things.”