Page 46 of The Three of Us

‘You too, by the look of it. What’s tired you out? I don’t smell any baking.’

‘No, I had my antenatal class today, and then a picnic with some of the women I’ve met. I did tell you this morning.’

‘Did you? Sorry. Let me get changed and then you can tell me all about it. The class, especially, and anything you think I should know.’

‘There’s so much to know you wouldn’t believe! This whole pregnancy thing is a revelation, Jack. Stretch marks and constipation and chomping on lumps of coal in the middle of the night, and we haven’t even started talking about the actual birth yet. Pain relief and pushing and piles! I’m just glad it’s us women having to cope with the pregnancy and not you men, or it would never happen.’

‘You’re right there.’ She sees Jack shudder as he disappears into the bedroom.

She glances at the clock and is surprised to see it’s already nearly seven. Jack’s home later than usual and she’s been asleep for ages. She’s done nothing about dinner. She can’t keep using being pregnant as an excuse to put her feet up and live on takeaways. There’s a chicken pie in the freezer, and some frozen chips, and the fridge is bursting with far more carrots than feels anywhere near normal. When she comes to think about it, she has been nibbling on them quite a bit lately, just washed under the tap and eaten raw. It occurs to her that she may have found her own pregnancy craving. Still, at least it’s a healthy one, and, if the tales her mother used to spin her can be believed, it could just help her to see better in the dark, which will come in handy for night-time nappy changes. No wonder she was dreaming about rabbits!

Chapter 27

Jack

Jack is pleased with the way the project is going. More importantly, his bosses are pleased too. Another two or three weeks of testing and tweaking and it can all go ‘live’. Soon after that, when everything is running smoothly, he will be moved on. There are other projects lining up, plenty for him to tackle once this particular one has been completed, so he knows his future is secure, even though his time at Mandrake’s is coming to an end. That’s how being a consultant works. A bit like temping, going where he is needed, making new friends, building his CV and his reputation. His new company is not about to go bust as the last one had. He will be with them long-term, or for as long as he wants to be.

But for the next few weeks, he will be working in the same building as Carly, seeing her often, and having to find a way for them both to deal with that. Being colleagues, friends, and nothing more. If only the might-have-beens and the what-ifs didn’t keep popping into his head. Is it really too late? It’s madness to think that way, but there’s something about her that has grabbed hold of him and is not quite willing to let go.

Since that encounter in the pub garden, he has tried hard to avoid her mate Suze, yet somehow she keeps appearing. Coming up to his floor with messages or invoices in need of querying. Hovering near the lifts. Giving him that evil stare of hers that seems to have replaced the sensual come-and-get-me look she had directed at him when he had first arrived. She seems to have appointed herself as Carly’s protector, some kind of gatekeeper, making it her mission to keep watching him, and to keep them apart. Far from warning him off though, her determination to save Carly from the clutches of a married man has become like a red rag to a bull. It is not her place, nor her business, to come between them or decide whether they should see each other or how they should behave. It’s how he feels, and just as importantly, how Carly feels, that matters, and as they have no choice but to be thrown together, this is a relationship, whatever form that might choose to take, that they have to figure out for themselves.

He has another meeting with Carly later this afternoon. He has told himself, and her, that his diary is full, that four thirty is the only time he could manage, but he knows that’s not true. He has chosen a late-afternoon slot knowing that, by the time they are finished, everyone will be going home, that he can quite legitimately suggest a quick drink somewhere, so they might finally be able to talk things through, away from the office, and work out where they go from here.

‘Oh, I can’t, Jack. Not tonight. Sorry. I’ve got a driving lesson at five thirty. Syd’s meeting me outside the front door. You should pop out with me and say hello.’ It’s only four twenty-five but they have both got here early and Carly is spreading out her notes on the desk in front of them, her pen poised, the tip just brushing her lips as she concentrates. She is wearing a bright-pink shiny lipstick, and he just wants to reach over and kiss it. Kiss her. He mustn’t. He doesn’t.

‘It’s just that… well, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.’

She looks up, her hand and the pen it is holding slipping back down onto her lap.

‘About the project?’

‘No. There’d be no need to go out for a drink to do that. We can cover that here. It was… you and me, I suppose.’

He’s sure he can see the hint of a pink tinge creep up over her face. She looks a bit uncomfortable, yet her eyes continue to hold his gaze. She braves it out and doesn’t look away.

‘Is there a you and me?’

‘I sometimes think there will always be a you and me, Carly. Whatever else happens…’ He stops, an image of Molly and some faceless future baby crashing into his thoughts, just as it probably is into Carly’s too. ‘I get the feeling we still have unfinished business. Oh, that’s not a very good way to describe it, I know.’

‘It’s not, no. This, here, is business.’ She taps the pile of papers on the desk. ‘And that’s no problem, is it? It’s all going well. We’re going well, working together like this.’

‘We are. But you know that’s not what I’m talking about. It was something your friend said to me. Suze…’

‘Suze? When did she talk to you? And what did she say? God, I wish she would just butt out. She’s hardly a world expert on relationships herself. One minute she’s all loved up with that Sean, they’re getting on great, then he’s been spotted with another woman and she dumps him, then she’s all over him again. I can’t keep up. I just wish she’d make up her mind. Go on, what’s she said? Something horribly embarrassing, I expect.’

‘It doesn’t really matter what her exact words were. She was more or less telling me to leave you alone, to stay away or else…’

Carly laughs then. ‘And I bet you were really scared, right? What’s she going to do? Whack you with one of her high heels? Throw a drink in your face?’

‘I wouldn’t put it past her to do either of those, actually. But the point is that I don’t want to have to find out how you feel from your friend. I want – no, I need – to hear it from you. Do you want me to stay away?’

‘Not easy, when we work together.’

‘Aside from work, I mean.’

‘This is all a bit heavy, Jack. And we are at work, aren’t we? With a project to worry about and to talk about, and less than an hour to do it in before Syd gets here.’

‘Later then? After your lesson? You could meet me somewhere. We can’t just keep ignoring it, can we? I know we agreed to let it go, but it’s not that easy, is it? That kiss, all those years ago. What so nearly happened, and why we let it. Did we do the right thing, Carly? Walking away from all that… I don’t even know what to call it… attraction, lust, something more than that? I couldn’t get you out of my head for weeks afterwards, and being back here has just made it all so real again, what I felt back then, what I’m pretty sure you felt too. It’s like the bloody great elephant in the room every time we get close to each other.’