Page 5 of Better Than Expected
It was a sufficient enough distraction for the time being. But it certainly would not be the last time she heard that rant. And it was easy to make the choice that night to steer very clear of Caroline, for both of their sakes.
December 19 – 2 Years Ago
Thevery last place Hannah wanted to be at was the Wilkens & Granger Christmas party.
Literally, she couldn’t think of somewhere she wanted to be less than here. Eight years of these parties and she’d mostly figured out all of the steps. How to make the rounds, make conversation, without having to really think about it.
But the facts were these: she was a week away from Christmas. Her first Christmas without her mom. And every single day hurt. It just… hurt.
She would kill to be home with Abbie tonight.
“Do you have to look like it’s killing you to be here?” Michael hissed into her ear as he pressed close enough for her to smell the cigar that he’d clearly smoked with the other law partners at the firm.
It was the numbness that had set in eight months ago that really done it. That made her snap into realizing – she simply did not care enough to put on the mask to please Michael. The mask had slowly been slipping in bits and pieces for the last five years or so, but this year… she went through the motions. She didn’t have the extra energy to give him, anymore.
Hannah pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Would it kill you to pretend you give a damn about me being here?” She turned to face him. “You drag me here, make a point of showing me off, and then you disappear. What’s the point of my presence at all beyond the first ten minutes?”
It was easy to say it here, easier than at home. She didn’t bite her tongue the same way she used to, years ago, but she often tried to keep it as calm as possible for Abbie. But here, Michael would never scream. He would never throw items toward her or pound his fists into the walls next to her head, not in public.
The vein in his forehead pulsed as all of that anger flashed behind his eyes. “I don’t even know what to say to you when you’re like this.” He leaned in only centimeters from her face, the hold he had around her wrist so tight, she knew it would leave the slightest mark. “You don’t like it here? The life I’ve given you; everything I’ve given you? You’d have nothing without me, Hannah. Never forget that. And this? This is how we get it all. So, too fucking bad.”
As he stormed away, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, trying to just blend in with the background as best she could as she rubbed her wrist. It would be over soon.
She took stock of the room, as she breathed deeply. In and out. In an out, as she scanned her eyes over the people; it was the usual suspects. By this point in the evening, mostly everyone was a little tipsy. There was a lot of laughing, singing along to the music. Talking in the little groups. Hannah could pinpoint those groups easily now, she knew the people who would gravitate toward one another.
Her gaze landed on Caroline, so naturally. She stood in a suit – one of the many she owned.
Caroline Parker was always wearing suits… except at Fourth of July parties – her hand was on a woman’s arm, as she threw her head back and laughed. It was genuine, boisterous laughter that reached Hannah from yards away.
It had been six years since she’d first met Caroline, but her face still drew Hannah like a bee to honey.
It was how she knew so much about her. Hannah had enough time at company events over the years that she’d made observations about most employees at Wilkens & Granger. But Caroline’s face…
She couldn’t help but watch her, the most.
Caroline was an outlier at these parties. She would mingle and talk to most of the groups for a while. Always polite and friendly, but never too close with anyone. If she came to office events alone – which was the most typical – she would put in a requisite amount of time, before ducking out politely.
Hannah envied that about her. She wondered if Caroline’s dates appreciated it the way they should.
Because on occasion, she would bring a woman with her. No, not a woman, but women.
Different ones. Hannah didn’t think she had ever seen the same one twice.
Regardless of whatever happened behind the scenes – maybe she was a player who went through women like nothing. But she wasn’t married to them, so… good for her, Hannah supposed –
Caroline never left her dates for more than a minute or two. She brought them along to mingle with her. Her hand – she had long fingers, Hannah had noted – often rested along her date’s lower back. But it was never a commanding touch; it always looked light, never forceful.
Like Caroline knew this was her domain and that her dates were here because of her, but like she truly appreciated that about them. She just looked like she was going to take care of things. That was the loudest impression Hannah had gotten from Caroline in the last six years.
Never demanding or angry or forceful, but a quiet power that exuded an air of “I have got this.”
It must be nice, she thought for maybe the thousandth time, to feel that way. So in control. It was something else that added to Caroline’s appeal. The appeal in observing her, anyway.
She watched that dimple appear next to Caroline’s mouth as she grinned, listening attentively to something her date said. She wondered if Caroline’s dates had any idea how lucky they were to have their dates’ entire attention when they spoke, like their words were really being valued.
It just… must be nice.
It was the last thing she remembered focusing on before it happened.