Page 6 of Better Than Expected

It, being a man she didn’t know coming into the room to announce that someone was having sex in the coat closet. She didn’t know if he meant to announce it loudly or just to a group of people, but she was close enough to hear.

It, being the sinking feeling in her stomach as she took note that Michael wasn’t in the room. And neither was Mindy, his secretary. With whom she knew he’d been having sex with for months.

It, being the uncontrollable reaction to walk, filled with a knowing dread, forward with the group of people. It felt as if she was watching herself in a daze, as the sounds of Michael and Mindy grew louder.

She couldn’t bring herself to walk any further, as soon as she heard.

Hannah barely knew how she wound up on the twenty-first floor, sitting in the reception area of the empty floor where Michael used to work before he made partner. She didn’t remember coming here. She just knew it was quiet and dark and she was alone.

She gripped her knees as she forced in deep breaths, and forced them out. This feeling inside of her, it wasn’t heartbreak. No, Michael didn’t have the power to cause that in her. She would have to love him for her heart to break, and it had been a long, long time since she’d ever even thought she might feel love for him.

She wasn’t surprised by a long shot. She knew he’d been having an affair with Mindy, that she was just the latest in a long line. And, if she was being honest, that didn’t really matter much, either, frankly. Other than her pride. Whatever was left of it, anyway.

But… just breathing hurt.

She had nothing.

She didn’t have a mom anymore. She didn’t have friends, other than Robyn, who Michael employed. She didn’t have a job. No college degree. She had no real financial independence. Very little independence at all.

She didn’t have a marriage in any of the ways it counted – passion, friendship, romance. She only had the public appearance of a marriage. And now? She didn’t even have that.

She had humiliation and anger and helplessness and this deep feeling of emptiness that sat in the pit of her stomach.

Hannah forced in a deep breath, then forced it out.

She jumped when she felt something land gently on her lap and – when had anyone else come here?

She tensed, thinking it was Michael, but the soft, feminine scent didn’t match, she realized seconds later, as her eyes focused on what actually was in her lap.

One of those little travel packs of tissues. She supposed it was meant for tears she didn’t even feel.

Still, her hand shook as she moved to grip it in her fist, and she turned to look at –

Caroline.

She was slowly pulling her hand back from where she’d placed the tissues, clasping them in front of herself, as she tilted her head down to look Hannah in the eye.

It wasn’t quite a smile on her lips, given the situation. But there was just a knowing look, something intended to be comforting, as Caroline spoke, “Sorry to invade your privacy. But I just had to get my jacket, from my office.”

She gestured behind her, as if Hannah didn’t know exactly where her office was. “And there are still some more in there if you need them. I left them on the desk. The door’s unlocked.”

Her voice was so quiet. It was soft, but it took up the silence. Like she would never have to yell to make herself heard, and she knew it. In this moment, Hannah held onto that strength, and she found herself staring up at Caroline, craving more of it.

She didn’t think Caroline Parker would ever find herself in this sort of situation. And for some weird reason, the truth and strength of that made her feel just a little bit stronger herself.

“I also grabbed this for you at… the coat check,” Caroline added and slipped Hannah’s jacket from where it had been folded over her forearm. She hadn’t even noticed it.

Hannah blinked in surprise as she took the jacket and settled it on her lap, still unable to find any words to speak aloud to process what was going on in her mind.

“I had to give your name at the door; didn’t know if you’d want to go in there.” Caroline tugged at her own jacket sleeve. Her tone was somehow both matter-of-fact and soothing, and Hannah could feel that combination settle over her.

Caroline didn’t only give off the energy that said, I’ll take care of everything. She truly did take care of things.

Hannah bunched her fingers around the material of her wool jacket, her throat tight, tongue-tied. Nothing. She had no words. Just, the nothingness resonating inside of her.

Caroline nodded.

She took a few steps toward the elevator, before she turned around again. The lights were still off on the floor, but Hannah thought there was a gentleness in Caroline’s eyes. A softness that offset the sharp. It was such an odd thought to have in this moment, but then again, maybe it wasn’t.