Page 126 of Tiny Fractures
“What was your plan?”
“To get as far away from New York as I can,” he says matter-of-factly.
My heart squeezes uncomfortably in my chest. “Oh,” is all I can say, and I turn back toward the front of the car.
Ronan tightens his hold on my hand, then moves it to rest his and mine on my leg. “But I’m not so sure about that now,” he says, and I dare to look at him again. I swear, he gets more handsome each time I lay eyes on him. He smiles at me, his face soft. “I don’t really want to be anywhere you’re not.”
I exhale in relief, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I don’t want to be anywhere you aren’t either,” I confess.
“So, tell me what your plans are.”
I shrug. “Not really sure, to be honest. I mean, college, definitely—god, my parents would disown me if I didn’t go to college—but I don’t really know where. I like New York. My friends are here and… you are here,” I say hastily, then glance at Ronan, who’s smiling at the road in front of him. “So maybe NYU, or Cornell, or Columbia, though I doubt I’d get into Cornell or Columbia. My grades are good, but I’m no valedictorian.” I nudge Ronan’s arm, and he grins at me. “I guess I should apply to Duke; it’s where my parents went, but that’s in North Carolina and definitely not where you are.”
“You really shouldn’t base your decision on where you go to college or what you want to do with your life on me,” he says. “Do what makes you happy!”
“You make me happy,” I say, awkwardly.
“You make me happy, too.”
He looks at me again, and if we weren’t driving on the freeway right now, I’d crawl across that damn center console, climb onto his lap, and kiss him until he was out of breath. “Just apply wherever you think you might want to go, and then you can make a decision later; we still have a lot of time,” he says wisely.
I nod in agreement. “Do you know where you want to apply?” I ask, needing to know so I can possibly add those places to my own list.
“I thought I’d apply to a couple schools in California,” he says. At this my heart squeezes in my chest again. “The University of Montana,” he adds, and I nod because that would make sense; his grandparents are in Montana and he really seems to like it there. “Maybe NYU and Brown,” he continues, then pauses. “But I actually just submitted my application for early admission to Columbia.”
I look at him in surprise. “You did? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t seem like a big deal, I guess. The chances of me getting in are pretty slim,” he says. “It’s an Ivy League school and everyone and their mother is trying to get in,” he adds, then looks at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, I should have told you. I really just didn’t think it was anything worth getting excited about.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say. “I just didn’t realize you were working on that. When did you take your SATs?” How did I miss this?
“Last spring, before I knew you were about to step into my life and make me second-guess all my plans,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes and the sexiest smile on his lips. It’s a good thing we’re pulling up to my house in that moment, because I really want to kiss him.
“Do you have to go home right away?” I ask him, hoping we can hang out a little bit together.
“No. My mom’s working, so I’m all yours,” he says, pulls my hand to his mouth, and places a soft kiss onto my palm before we get out of his car.
***
It’s dark inside the house, so I quickly turn on the light before walking into the kitchen, dehydrated from the little alcohol I had. I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water. “Do you want anything?” I call out to Ronan, my head still in the fridge.
“Only to kiss you,” he says, his voice coming from right behind me.
I spin around, slamming the refrigerator shut. “Jeez, I didn’t even hear you walk into the kitchen. You scared the shit out of me,” I say, my hand over my pounding heart.
Ronan chuckles in a low voice that makes my heart speed up even more. “Sorry, baby,” he says, and my eyes flutter shut when Ronan leans in and brushes his lips softly against mine. I can feel the heat radiating off his body and his scent is driving me crazy. He begins to pull away, so I move my hands under his shirt and up his chest, intensifying the kiss as I part my lips and allow his tongue to slip into my mouth.
Ronan nips my bottom lip, and a moan escapes me as my fingers trace Ronan’s firm chest and stomach. He backs us up, pressing me against the fridge and trapping my head between his arms on either side of me. He moves his mouth away from mine and leaves a path of kisses down my jawline and the side of my neck.
“God, your skin is delicious,” he groans, his lips not leaving my neck, and I shiver as his breath caresses my ear and Ronan lightly bites my earlobe. Heat and want spread through my core as Ronan pushes off the fridge and his left hand finds its way under my shirt. Moving upward, Ronan’s thumb traces along the edge of my bra and my breathing becomes increasingly ragged.
“Cat,” he whispers into my ear, and I suck in a sharp breath when his thumb outlines my hard nipple, and suddenly it clicks. I think I’m ready to move our relationship to a different plane. I don’t think I can resist him any longer; I don’t think I want to resist him any longer. He and I have waited long enough. He has earned my trust. He has shown me, again and again, that my well-being, comfort, and needs take priority for him. And I love him. I want to share myself with him; I want all of him. So I open my eyes and pull away from him.
He immediately stops tasting me, moving back with a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asks, his chest still rising and falling erratically, his concerned eyes searching mine.
“Yeah,” I say quietly, nodding. Collecting all my courage and letting my desire and feelings for him quiet all my fears, I move my lips to his ear. “I’m ready,” I whisper, letting the weight of the words and my decision sit out in the open. Ronan just looks at me for a moment, unspeaking, swallowing hard. “I’m ready,” I whisper again.
His eyes bore their way into my soul, searching for doubt. “Cat, if… if this is really what you want, I’ll need to go to my car. I don’t have any protection on me,” he says, still analyzing my face, his gorgeous eyes intense.