Page 127 of Tiny Fractures

“Oh, it’s—that’s okay,” I stammer, feeling awkward, even though I know it’s great that we’re having this conversation, and even greater that he’s so concerned about being safe. “I got on the pill when you and I, you know, became us,” I say with a small smile.

He scans my face. “Oh,” he says, and I can see his wheels turning, trying to figure out exactly what I’m trying to say. “I’ve never done it without… without a condom,” he says, and I smile at his nervousness. I know he’s far more experienced than I am, and the fact that this is new territory for him, that this is something he hasn’t shared with anyone else, makes me happier than it probably should.

“So, it’s sort of the first time for both of us, then,” I say.

His lips tug into a smile. “I guess so,” he says. “Cat, are you sure?” he asks, his hand still under my shirt, the other resting on my lower back.

“Yeah,” I say, not taking my eyes off his, wanting to show him that I’m sincere and that this is what I want more than anything else in this world.

Ronan nods, moves his hand out from under my shirt, and takes my hand. Without speaking, he leads me out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and to my bedroom.

I stand there awkwardly, my skin tingly in anticipation as Ronan closes the door behind him and moves back toward me. His eyes are still searching mine. I give him a shaky smile, wanting to assure him, but I’m so nervous, and it shows.

Ronan moves slowly as he steps toward me.

“You can tell me to stop any time and I will,” Ronan promises, his voice soft but serious, before he kisses me gently. As soon as his lips meet mine again, the fire inside me burns brightly and the want rips through me like an avalanche. His tongue explores my mouth, tracing my lips, while his hands carefully push up the hem of my shirt. I remove my hands from his back and lift my arms, allowing him to pull my shirt up over my head. Ronan’s lips are back on mine the split second he discards my shirt on the floor. I want to feel his skin on mine so badly it hurts, and I push myself against him, my hard nipples pressing through the fabric of my bra and against his chest. I push his shirt up, wanting it off, and he finally reaches back and pulls it off all the way.

I can feel the sexual tension, the want, the need surge between us as his hands touch me frantically yet so gently and carefully that my skin feels electrically charged. He stops kissing me long enough to unhook my bra, sliding the straps off my shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. He takes me in deliberately, letting his eyes roam my exposed skin.

“You are so beautiful,” he moans, then crushes his lips back against mine. He pushes me back gently, sitting me down on the bed. I lean back, letting my head hit the pillow as Ronan puts his hands on either side of my body and moves his legs between mine. He kisses my collarbone, and my heart beats hard in my chest. My hands desperately hold on to Ronan’s shoulders as his mouth finds my nipple. His tongue traces it before he nips and sucks on it, driving my body absolutely wild. I begin pushing myself against his legs, and a deep, feral moan escapes Ronan, making me want him even more.

His tongue leaves my breast, and my legs vise-grip around him in protest. His breath feathers against my skin, and I swear I’m going to come apart any second now. He begins traveling downward, kissing and licking the bare skin of my stomach down to the waistband of my jeans, where he undoes the button and zipper. With both hands, Ronan pulls down my jeans, all the while continuing to trail kisses down the newly exposed skin of my legs and thighs. My skin is hypersensitive, and I shut my eyes tightly, focusing on the sensation of his lips and tongue tasting my body.

When Ronan pushes my pants to my knees, he quickly moves off the bed and pulls my jeans off the rest of the way before dropping them on the floor where they join my shirt and his, along with my bra. In one swift motion, he places himself between my legs again and his lips resume their caress of my neck as he lowers his hips against mine.

All I can do is let my hands run across Ronan’s back, feeling his soft, heated skin and taut muscles while his lips trail across my neck, my collarbone, my chest, my breasts. He alternates between them, kissing, licking, and sucking my pebbled nipples. He grates his teeth over my right nipple, nipping at it. I never imagined that the slight pain would result in such unspeakable arousal, and I grind my hips roughly against him in a desperate yet fruitless, attempt to quell that hot, needy ache growing between my thighs. The rough fabric of his jeans against my panties only gets me more worked up, and I moan with want.

I can feel him pressing between my thighs, needing to be freed. I don’t imagine that his jeans grant him much room to… expand. So, I reach for him, fumbling with the button of his pants, which he finally undoes for me, allowing me to push his jeans down before he kicks them off, his mouth never breaking contact with my skin. He’s certainly skilled at multitasking.

I rake my hands through his dark-blond hair when he starts to move his lips across my stomach, kissing every inch as he travels downward. I gasp with pleasure when his mouth finds the right spot, still covered by the thin fabric of my panties. This is all completely new to me, and his warm breath against my most sensitive skin sends raw, wild need through my body. I whimper when Ronan mercifully pulls my panties off me, leaving me completely exposed to him.

“You have no idea how perfect you are,” Ronan says, his voice low and gravelly. I watch him as he takes in my naked body, his eyes glossy but filled with what I can only describe as hunger as they linger a heartbeat longer on my most intimate part, and I squirm under his intense gaze.

I always thought I would feel embarrassed or shy when this moment came, but all I want is to feel all of him. My legs fall open willingly, making me vulnerable to him as he carefully places himself between my legs, lowering himself so that his arms support his weight but our chests touch. He kisses me—his soft tongue slow and deep—while his left hand finds my hip and gently glides to my inner thigh where his fingers leave a tingling sensation and cause moist heat to pool between my legs.

I need him to touch me; it feels necessary to my existence. Slowly, almost painfully so, Ronan moves his hand between my thighs and to my most sensitive skin. He circles a finger slowly around that tiny spot that causes the most powerful sensations, then dips lower for a moment, lingering at my entrance without slipping his finger inside me.

“Fuck,” Ronan groans against my lips desperately, drawing out the word. God, even his voice—the need reflected in it—turns me on. He glides his hand back up, his fingers sweeping softly over my hypersensitive flesh, stroking me so softly that the want is almost unbearable as he pushes me further and further toward the edge. My body aches with need and my breath is erratic as my heart beats hard in my chest. His lips leave mine and, without warning, his mouth finds my nipple, sucking hard while he continues to stroke me with his left hand, increasing the pressure and speed.

The ecstasy that has been building in my body comes to a peak and finally causes me to come undone beneath Ronan’s warm body. My eyes are shut, but lights burst before my mind’s eye as waves of undiluted ecstasy crash over me and course through my body. I arch my back, my body moving on its own accord, my hips bucking against Ronan’s hand as he continues to pleasure my body and skillfully draws out the high. Oh god.

I need to feel him inside me. Now.

I open my eyes, my vision hazy, and my hands frantically find the waistband of Ronan’s black boxer briefs. I scramble to get them off, to push them down his hips, to eliminate the last barrier between our naked bodies. Ronan pushes himself up and off me and takes off the last bit of clothing separating his body from mine.

I take him in, my gaze rolling from his handsome face down his body, my eyes intentional as I see all of him for the first time: his lean, muscular chest and stomach, taut in anticipation; sun-kissed skin; his breathing erratic; green eyes bright—hooded and glossy with need that has been building for months; that V-cut I’ve only ever seen disappear in the waistband of his boxers; and finally, his manhood—long and thick, hard as a rock. It’s so arousing to see him like that, to see with my own eyes what effect I have on him, how much I turn him on instead of just the other way around. God, his body is perfect; Ronan is perfect.

He lowers himself back onto me, supporting his upper body on his forearms as he kisses me gently. “Are you sure about this?” he asks for what seems like the hundredth time while his eyes search mine for any doubt. My heart is frantic in my chest, my breathing shallow, shuddering with anticipation, with want and, admittedly, nervousness. I’m kind of scared. I’ve obviously heard that the first time hurts, and Ronan’s size is not insubstantial. But I want this. I’ve never been surer of anything than the fact that I want to give all of me to Ronan right now.

“Yeah,” I breathe, because I am sure. I’m ready. I want to feel him—all of him. Despite my nervousness, my inexperience, my body positively aches for him, my thighs tingling where they connect with Ronan’s skin.

A jolt of electricity surges through me when I feel him lower his hips, feel his hardness against my hypersensitive flesh. I stare into his eyes, his gaze soft, reassuring, as he reaches down between us, gently strokes my needy skin for a moment, then takes himself in his hand. He guides himself to the right spot and finally begins to push into me.

Ronan

I can tell Cat is scared. I can tell by the way her hazel eyes are wide as I search them, her breath shudders slightly, and her fingers hold on to me tightly as if anticipating pain. So I move cautiously, wanting to give her the chance to back out of her decision. She really has no idea how fucking perfect she is, and I know that tonight is going to change me irrevocably.

I let my eyes roll down her soft curves—her delicate neck, her breasts, her hips, then her thighs and that soft V of her most sensitive flesh—taking my time, drinking her in as she does me. I can practically feel her eyes on my body, studying me while I let my eyes travel over her completely naked body for the first time. God, she is stunning—every damn part of her.