Page 84 of Peer & Coco

Chapter 35

Kelli sat on one endof the couch, and Coco sat on the other end. Peer, unable to sit, stood near Coco. It wasn't lost on him that he was also near the hallway.

He was most comfortable if he was between his son and Kelli.

"I take it you've read the papers I gave you." Kelli perched on the edge of the cushion. "You probably have questions."

"Ja." The muscles in Peer's shoulders tensed. "Why hadn't you called or gotten ahold of me?"

Kelli looked down at her clasped hands. "Because I had no idea what was going on with me. The first week after I got home from the hospital, all I could remember was my mom yelling at me to take care of the baby. I was...I was resentful of—"

"Me?" he said.

She glanced up and then dipped her chin again, not looking at him. "At first, but I felt the baby was making me miserable. I couldn't tell the difference between night and day. Time ran together, and my head was all messed up."

"Did your mom take you to the doctors?"

She shook her head. "I went to the hospital after I dropped the baby off with you. I knew you would take care of him."

"His name's Tyr. Use it," he said.

Coco reached over and slipped her hand into his. He held on tightly. The anger he'd felt toward Kelli hovered around the edges of the room, barely restrained.

"It took a few months for me to start feeling better. By then, I felt like I didn't deserve to be in the ba—Tyr's life. He was better off without me." Kelli looked at him. "The doctor explained how hormones can play tricks on me and make me believe something that isn't true. I should've known something was wrong. I know you think because I'm moody around the time I get my period that I would recognize how I was acting, but it was different, more intense and scarier. I never thought I'd get Postpartum Depression after having him. My intentions were to have the baby, heal, and contact you."

"You're all better now?" he asked.

"Yeah." Kelli blew out her breath. "I've seen a therapist, and I'm off the antidepressants. I'm now on hormone pills that have stabilized my levels. I've got a part-time job at Kramer's Truck Stop waiting tables and renting, well... you know where I'm living."

He sat on the arm of the couch. "What do you want from me, Kelli?"

"I only want to see my...our son. I want to see Tyr and get to know him." Kelli's voice came out stronger. "I want to be a part of his life and be the mother I wanted to be to him."

"I'm not going to let you take him away from me."

"I won't—"

"You threatened me with a lawyer." He shifted, and Coco held on to his hand tighter. "I'm all he knows. Me and Coco."

"I know, and when you came to me, I spoke out because I was desperate." Kelli nodded emphatically. "I realize how much you both have done, and if I spend the rest of my life trying to make up for everything, it'll never be enough. If I could see him or we could set up visitations, I'll prove to you that I only want what is best for Tyr. I would never come between your relationship with our son."

He'd seen this side of Kelli before. When she'd fucked up and wanted to make amends. She could butter him up and change her attitude, and she'd make good on her promise...until the next time something set her off.

He looked at Coco. Her pained gaze only told him the prospect of letting Kelli into their lives scared her. He was in the same boat.

Stroking her hand with his thumb, he needed help. Making a mistake wouldn't only invite turmoil into Tyr's life but shake the foundation of what he had with Coco. He had a lot to lose. Everything he loved could be taken from him if he made the wrong decision.

Coco's eyes focused. Her chin came up, and she squeezed his hand. She was fierce in her love for him and Tyr.

"You can see Tyr. Not today. Tomorrow," he said.

"Thank you." Kelli stood. "Thank you so much."

"Hang on." He stood, needing the advantage over her. "You'll come here so he's comfortable and Coco will stay with him while you visit. Come at one o'clock. You'll have an hour, and we'll go from there."

Kelli nodded the whole time he'd talked. "Thank you."

He let go of Coco and walked across the room and opened the door. Kelli followed him, stopping at the threshold. He clamped his jaw. The hope and relief were written on her face and only made him more determined to protect his son.